Getting Wet...

There are nights when a girl just doesn’t want to go out. Like the world would be a perfect place when on looked from bed in a big t-shirt. I spent most of the afternoon thinking about things that I couldn’t resolve just yet, and clutching to my stomach swearing at Mother Nature for having made me a girl. Not wanting to disappoint my friends nor waste €10, I made an effort to get dressed for the much awaited night out. The desire to do so was at an all time low, and the best I could manage was to dress in black with red lips and nails to go with that particular time of the month. Inspecting myself in the mirror, I decided that red was definitely a colour I should wear more often.

Male cooked meal…

It’s not everyday that you have a man cooking a gourmet meal for you! The oldest member of our Scandinavian group of friends had decided to experiment in the kitchen and we became his willing guinea pigs. Baked pears stuffed with melted cheese and nuts started off an amazingly delicious meal. Green pasta was covered by an exotic mixture: my taste buds identified: chicken pieces, peanuts, mushrooms, peas, red, green and red peppers and crab sticks. Space simply had to be made for a typical Thai desert. My taste buds delved into the tropical ice cream that was served in a pineapple and contained pineapple and walnut pieces. And just to push pleasure to the limits, the meal ended with another Thai dish, coconut rice covered with Mango pieces and condensed milk. My compliments to chef who continued to dazzle his guests with talk of all the foreign countries he’d visited. I was particularly taken by his story of his pet monkey that he had back in Hong Kong.

Fate gives you a push in the right direction with destiny to help guide you…

Meeting two new members of the Scandinavian group, I discovered that they were both from Finland and had a lot to tell me about the country that destiny seems to be pushing me towards. The things I discovered fed my hunger for change and Fate made sure that I already made contacts for the future. A country serious about it’s business, Finland like most it’s Scandinavian counterparts, is a country with honest people trying to make an honest living. So honest are they that I was informed that men are supposed to be direct with their intentions, it should be nothing unusual for a guy to come up to you and say “I wanna fuck you” - and he should be taken seriously. Listening carefully, I began feeling guilty for not taking one or two approaches are seriously and turning them into a joke. This is why, not knowing a different culture can lead to bad misunderstandings! However, easy sex wasn’t on my agenda and I lead the conversation back to my ambition… my career! Impressed with all I heard, it deeply pleased me to hear that out there only your skills helped you climb the corporate ladder. It isn’t who you know or what family you come from, but what you’re capable of doing. The only two glitches were 1. It’s a damn cold country with temperatures that can drop to –50degrees and 2. The men. (I’ve never really been into blond blue-eyed boys and to add to them being way too easy, Scandinavians have no Ass!). My small Finish friend had no idea the frustration she helped build in my already desperate-to-escape-the-island mind. Before throwing up in the pot plant next to me, she still managed to take my face in her hands and say: “Aww my honey, you in Finland are going to end up a happily married woman” I didn’t know whether to laugh or to puke with her!

Nelly Furtado put on quite a show! We managed to push our way to the front so that we had centre, front row view of the whole stage! Being the official photographer, I mastered the art of photo taking and dancing at the same time… and although some photos didn’t come out that good, most of them looked great! Nelly’s music seeped right into my soul. If it wasn’t bad enough that I had thoughts of the future in my head, memories of the past were brought on by my new Pommy friend from Brighton who was the splitting image of the ex-boyfriend whose tattoo I designed one week before leaving South Africa. I sang along with Nelly and the crowd, the beat was so intense that it felt like it had taken control of my heartbeat. “I’m like a bird” took me back to my best friend’s house in Randhart where I had seen the video for the first time on MTV. “Say what you want” was a description to all my present thoughts. But it was “I try” that threatened tears to my eyes… “And I see you standing there, wanting more from me, and all I can do is try… and you continue standing there, I’m all I’ll ever be, and all I can do is try.” I’d been pushing myself very hard lately and this night out was supposed to be the break from the stress.

Once the fireworks were over and the crowd began dispersing we all met at the local pub for drinks. Photos and jokes were passed around and I began thanking my stars for being alive. Moving on to another club, as the alcohol flowed, tongues and intentions began to loosen and I found myself becoming the promiscuity cop.

Girls just wanna have fun…

Yes they do! I laughed as I watched two of my friends take photos of their asses and breasts in the bathroom. The lucky owner of the camera was sure in for a surprise later on! Kisses and caresses that meant nothing were passed around. A group with cultures varying from Scandinavian to Brazilian and British somehow meshed very well. I carefully declined all the passes made at me but continued to torture onlookers with my flirty dancing. Even when it wasn’t in the clubs, it was to the drums being played on the street, dancing is the closest I came to losing myself in bliss.
Being the promiscuity police isn’t easy, you spend most of your time reminding your friends how much they love their boyfriends knowing they’ll hate you then and only thank you in the morning. While everyone else trades saliva and caresses you end up wishing you were a little less old fashioned but try drowning out the thoughts in the music. This time when I was grabbed, it was my ex-colleague I hadn’t seen in a while. He’d just gotten a girl-with-girl hip show, which resulted on more male attempts which I declined with a smile.
“I see you’re still the amazing woman I know”
“Or incredibly stupid, I’m probably the only one not getting laid tonight”
“We both know you’re worth a whole lot more.”

Some people just have the ability to look at you and see you for who you really are – Thank-You.

Just as you run into people you like, you also run into people you don’t. Not that I didn’t like the other ex-colleague that I ran into but besides being incredibly hairy, he had already been chasing after me since he’s seen me out dancing for the first time. I felt like a ping-pong ball as I was pulled to one side and another by two of my ex-colleagues. The one wanted my beef and the other was trying to protect me from the scavenger. I’ve always said that where you earn your bread, you don’t eat the meat. But although my colleague wasn’t bad looking, it just seemed… pointless.

Let’s get wet!

The music was pumping, the room was full and my body was sweating. Sex was on everybody’s mind and I knew that I was going to fail as the promiscuity police if I didn’t do something quick to cool down the tension… so like most of my insane ideas, it drew at the spur of the moment. At 6am in the morning, just before the sun came up, we all went swimming in our underwear! The water was fantastic and the view incredible! The moon and stars made a reflection like tiny crystals on the water’s surface and I closed my eyes wishing I could share that moment with somebody special.

“I won’t give up on you Sunshine! I’ve been eying you out since we began working for the same company! You will eventually give in to me because I refuse to let go!”

How long did this speech last? Barely a few hours, when I looked over my shoulder, the bobbing of his head told me that he was trying perhaps his first saltwater sexual experience. Annoyed that I had one loss on the faithfulness patrol, I was at least relieved I’d gotten rid of Mr. Insistent and concentrated on splashing around with the two other friends who were enjoying the water as much as I was. We got out of the water just as the sun was rising and for the second time that morning; I thanked God for being alive,

Faithfulness patrol wasn’t a complete failure, I was impressed to see that at least one person was doing his best not to cheat even though temptation was dressed only in her underwear, sitting on his lap and sucking his ear. I believe she went home that morning with her ego extremely low for not making her conquest. I wasn’t that lucky with Mr. I-simply-don’t-give-up, who although was quite aware I’d seen him screw my friend, still insisted on wrapping me with a towel.

Breakfast with a hangover is a good way to start a Sunday morning. Although I’d only had two drinks, I felt drunk from exhaustion and not even food compelled as much as my duvet at that moment. Instead, I fed the pigeons just before joining my friends in singing “Words don’t come easy”… Two professional singers with a shower singer (that’s me!) caused quite a stare early in the morning at the café that applauded once we’d finished in perfect accord. Onto the 9pm show we were giving onlookers and the applause we got simply encouraged us to sing more.

Good, loud music with the windows open and my hand out the window only feels ecstatically good when combined with fast, crazy driving. The corners we cut and the S´s we made on the road only helped pump whatever adrenalin we had left. It seems that once again what started off as a crappy evening proved to be an amazing night out.

“You’re crazy, but you’re not crazy… do you know what I mean? You’re such a good girl, but you’re also not! Am I making any sense?”
Although he wasn’t, I understood what it is he meant to say and I sent him home to go sleep, disappointing him with lack of invitation to my house. It seems like he was “Serious” about not giving up on winning my affections (or female services).

Standing under a hot shower, I began searching for sense to write about in my column. But the best I could come up with is that every night out should end with a swim and every swim with a hot shower! Once again I’ve learnt nothing new. I already know how amazingly wonderful it is to be impulsive and how things seem to turn out for the best when they start off bad. Be it the hormones or the pent up frustration, I rediscovered how difficult it is to resist temptation, how to say “no thanks” and turn your head away from a kiss when all you want to do is grab someone and heavily make out with them. Why suffer such torture?
Besides deserving better, decisions like those come with consequences like “I really regret what I did” from my friend who, besides underwater experience had kissed four guys and one girl (at least under my supervision). I do not criticise her behaviour, I do not praise nor condone it. We’re all free to create our reality as we see fit. However if you plan on being adventures, take conscious decisions… only you become responsible for them and their consequences.

Writing this entry gave my hair enough time to dry a little before I retire to my comfy, sweet smelling bed… I might not have gotten “laid” tonight but only I know the true reward of knowing that I won’t wake up with anyone in my bed or a stranger in my mirror.