Man! I Feel Like a Woman!

“A train is about to crash. A frantic virgin strips and says “Can anyone make me feel like a woman before I die?” So a man walks up to her, takes his clothes off and says: “Iron these” (Thanks Joe!)

After a tough week at work, I felt pretty tired of being the executive professional with the technical know-how and problem solving profile. Along with the weekend came the chance to be somebody else!

Walking into my kitchen late on a Friday evening in a mood to cook is something really out of the ordinary. Normally exhausted from a hard day at work, the last thing I have patience for is exploring in the kitchen, making a dish for only one person. My grocery bags contained spices and herbs that I’d never tried before on chicken. I threw out the recipe book decided to create something on my own. So wrapping around me the apron and putting on some vibey music, I decided to be a gourmet chef! At first I felt insecure about venturing but then I remembered that I’d read somewhere that one should approach life and cooking with reckless abandon. So I did. I chopped, diced, mixed, squeezed, sliced and prepared the best chicken breasts with potatoes that I’d ever made! Beat that naked chef! And they say that men make better chefs… preposterous!

Waking up early on a Saturday, I decided that I was going to hire the best maid and housekeeper that ever lived… Me!
I cleaned, I scrubbed, I washed, I shined, I organised and reorganised my little apartment until I felt that the Queen of England would be impressed with how it looked spick and span. I enjoyed singing to the end of my broomstick. Dancing with the vacuum cleaner to Mango Groove was also a showstopper and if you were lucky enough to see me cleaning my windows… you’d get a preview of the new dance I invented called… the wipe!

Determined to try out more personalities, I woke up Sunday morning as the adventurer. I decided to go hiking with my group of nature adventure seekers and joined a seven and a half hour walk where I fully enjoyed the feeling of “stalking in the bundu´s (bushes)”. Along with the rain from the night before, came the adventure of sloshing around in the mud and then washing off under the mini waterfalls naturally made from the mountain peaks. Closing my eyes, I pictured myself stranded on a desert island (something not that hard to imagine!). I needed to walk… to search… to get away from the carnivores (society) and discover new territory and paths. So I have a big imagination! Being a woman requires it! And who doesn’t feel the need to let out the inner child every now and then?
My trip was packed with adventure… I discovered new plants, got pricked on their thorns but took home a pretty flower with me. On my way I also came across chestnut trees and spent a good deal of time trying to get the chestnuts out of their orifice. My fingers were calloused from the orifices´ pricks but I managed a whole bag of chestnuts to take home with me… this is what you call working up an appetite!
Once reaching the bus, my friend and I laughed at each other’s appearance. No way would people believe that these two scruffy women with mud up to their knees worked in uniform during the week!

On the way home, we stopped at a small village celebrating their chestnut season. On a natural high after walking all those hours and having a bag of chestnuts to show for it… we felt pretty proud of ourselves and got into the festive mood. Besides trying out their chestnut delicacies, we also tried out their chestnut liqueur… and ended up singing chestnut songs all the way to the bus! Pure folklore is what we experienced and the photos of us dressed up as nuns, would fool one from believing that we actually live in the “big city”.

Arriving home, I peeled off my filthy clothes throwing them into the washing machine. I took a quick shower and then realised that I deserved a little something more. Running up the bath with salts and bubbles, I put on my favourite slow music and lit up candles around the bathroom. Sinking into the bath, I felt the stress and tension of a really long hike leave my body… I took my time shampooing and conditioning my hair, making sure every inch of my body was carefully given attention to. Only leaving the tub when I was wrinkly, I wrapped myself in my big cuddly towel and proceeded on moisturising and grooming myself. Slowly dressing into my clean pyjamas and jumping into my sweet smelling bed… I thanked God for small miracles and fell asleep humming a song from Shania Twain.