Moment of Weakness

When your heart is broken:
You can’t see…
You can’t breathe…
It’s like watching your life in grey scales from a dark corner of a stuffy theatre.
People around you laugh and occasionally you manage a smile or two… though it never truly reaches your heart.

I believed that I was strong…
That I could overcome anything… but repeated disappointment exhausts me.
Too many goodbyes…
Too many tears…
Too many promises to myself that I could not keep.

I suddenly forget the goals I had,
The dreams I pursued and the reasons that kept me fighting.
I find myself having to drag myself out of bed,
Every morning searching for the courage to lift my head from a wet pillow and live out the life’s projects that now make little sense.

I wipe away my own tears and manage a sincere smile.
Broken but now defeated, the eyes in the mirror remind me that as long as I’m breathing, I’m still living.
Maybe not today,
Maybe not tomorrow,
But someday… I’ll wake up and see a rainbow in the sky and God will send down all his angels to paint the world in colours for my eyes to see again.

The pale face that stares in the mirror has red blood beneath the bleakness that haunts it.
It’s reflection reminds me that stars still shine…
The sun will rise in the morning…
And butterflies never forget how to fly.