Still on Track

Photosource: Karen Levine

I’m back!

To those wondering and to those whose e-mails are either not replied or are returned with the indication of an overquota mailbox, my only excuse is:
I’ve been living the things worth writing about. And that my friends, is far more important than anything I have to write about.

During the last four weeks a million topics and ideas ran through my mind forming rough, unwritten pages that I wanted to share in this blog. But today when I finally sat down in front of my laptop, the best I could come up with was a smile.

A smile? Yeah, I find that happiness requires no description and that the best way to share it is to wear it and spread it to those around you. I’m happy, happier than I’ve been in a long time and suddenly words have lost their value to me – they’re simply not enough words to describe a life. You can tell the world about what you've done and seen and no matter how much they try to understand they'll only truly know once they've experienced it for themselves.
You find that kind of comprehension in the silence and a smile of someone who's been there.

I woke up this morning and stretched my arm to my left, in my hazy consciousness I didn't realize I was reaching for the wrong side of the bed until I felt the emptiness. The panic caused me to open my eyes in an instant search, which ended with a sigh of relief once I snuggled up to a warm body that lay to my right.

I sat on the train and watched from the window as my heart saw me off. Both dog and owner accompanied me to the train that would take me to work. My hand was still warm from his hand, my lips still tingled from his kiss and seconds after they left, I missed them already.

I was waiting for my connecting train in Oriente when a heavy burdened woman emerged from the stairs. She approached me to ask me if she was in the right place and after reassuring her, I decided to get to know her better. The two heavy suitcases on worn wheels belonged to a Brazilian immigrant who had left her country only three months before. Her name was Raquel; she had initially moved to Guarda but had decided to move to Lisbon in hopes of finding a more active lifestyle. I saw a reflection of myself in the woman before me and decided to give her some of the tips I wished someone had given me when I arrived. We became fast friends and when I left her in Entrecampos, I came to the conclusion that I wanted to share in this post…

People tell you that life is short, that it ends too soon, and yet there are those that spend their days lamenting on the past or obsessing about the future. So few people focus on the “now” on the today.
We hurry, we worry and we survive instead of living a life that passes us by too quickly.
I've stopped taking other people's advice in order to experience what I can first hand, what not too long ago I would've considered high risks, today I consider some of the best decisions I've ever made in my life…
Often they still scare me.
Because there are no guarantees.
Because the results don't only depend on me.
Because the only certainty I have is that things change.
But living in fear is not living at all and happiness is made of moments, in the morning, on the train, the fifteen minutes it takes to write a blog…
Courage isn't the absence of fear; it's what it takes to take a step in the dark knowing that there are equal chances of falling or of stepping on solid ground.
You follow your heart, you do what you can, give it your all and when you look back… you realise how happy you truly were.

Smile people – it’s more than a consequence, it’s an option.