Recipe for a Bitch

Photosource: Unknown

I recently recieved a brilliant sms:

"You haven´t learned how to swear until you´ve started driving"

I immediately recalled one of my early driving lessons where I was already telling some guy off for not using his flicker.

My instructor calmly looked at me and said, "you´re gonna be one of those..."

Roadrage baby!

And I don´t even have my licence yet (In progress... will violently shake the first moron who asks me how that´s going)That subject is a whole other theme... the kind i´ll write about sometime later this year (hopefully).

My second thought upon reading this sms was:

If you want to bring out the bitch in a woman there´s a better solution than putting her behind the wheel: put her on a diet!

Have you ever crossed a woman on chocolate withdrawel?

She´ll politely refuse a piece of chocolate that you offered with a smile and then crucify the next poor soul that tries to talk to her.

Once she´s done resorting to violence, she´ll submit to that pastry that somehow got in her desk drawer and after a brief amout of satisfaction... she´ll cry her heart out of guilt.

Determination - Violence - Depression.

A diet is the making of a psychopath!

For guys losing a couple of kilos is easy: they simply cut down on the junkfood.

Any woman will describe her battle with the scale as a continious war that garantees casualties.

It involves depravation, temptation and defeat... psychologically exhausting for she who diets... and they who put up with her.

Soon I´ll be finished with a weight loss program that so far has been working for me at a huge expensive and a hell of a lot of effort and self-control.

During the treatment my biggest aid is a magical pill that heeds the hunger at bay...

It´s so much easier to avoid temptation when you´re not hungry!

Howerver, when the treatment ends I´ll have the challenge of maintaining my weight on my own...

So to those who see me on road in October: Either follow the traffic code of conduct or stay the hell out of my way!