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How did I know that my client was going to react that way? Why my friend was going to say all that he said and why my family chooses that kind of behaviour?
To know somebody… to really get to know somebody: You have to want to get to know them. To respect and accept them for whom they are and their beliefs without passing any judgement of your own… after all, that could be you!
Knowing others is wisdom, knowing thy self is enlightening.
Put yourself in their shoes. Be the client, be the friend; be the relative… be whoever it is that you choose to understand. Close your eyes and try to see things through their perspective. As hard as this may seem, it isn’t as difficult as people imagine that it is.
Doesn’t your finger hurt when you place it on top of a burning candle? Your reaction will be to immediately remove it… but take the example of someone who makes candles and is fascinated by the flame. Would it be fair to say that due to the person’s background they may attempt to keep their finger there longer? What about someone with a short temper? Would it be fair to say that due to their impatient nature they may blow out the candle or turn it over in frustration? And what about that insecure person you know? She or he most probably won’t even attempt to put their finger where it can be burned…
You see… it isn’t so difficult to get to know someone once you’ve figured out what drives them.
Beware of presumption.
Always give the person space to surprise or disappoint you. After all, we’re not machines that are pre-programmed and the power of decision makes us the fascinating creatures that we are. Never elude yourself to think that you know somebody completely, for people grow and develop and what their thoughts are today might evolve into different thoughts tomorrow. Scary isn’t it? That you never truly know someone completely? Or relieving that you can rediscover someone you care about every so often? That none of us are prisoners to routine or limits to evolution?
What drives You?
What makes you think and react the way you do? Why choose this over that or decide which principles and guidelines to live by? Take a time of introspection and ask yourself the question you ask others but are too afraid to ask yourself.
Are people’s reactions so strange once you’ve placed yourself in their position?
Spend more time with your mirror.
You will find that once you begin to understand yourself, others are not so complicated after all.
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