Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Let it Rain...

Drenched!!! From head to toe, my umbrella did nothing to protect me from the sheets of water thrown down from the clouds above me.
All the angels and saints in heaven must be on strike because they've all left their taps running. Instead of dodging puddles, I found myself unsuccessfully looking for any indication of solid surface under the pools of water flowing over Lisbon’s streets and sidewalks.
At first I hurried as fast as I could to avoid getting too wet, but I realized that the battle had been lost when I felt that squishy feeling inside my boots. From that moment on, I slowed my pace to a pleasant walk where I imagined Sinatra proudly clapping at my version of “Singing in the rain”.
The great thing about singing in the rain… is the fact that there isn't a soul around to hear you!
I managed to avoid unwanted spray showers from passing cars by sticking close to the walls, my efforts however, proved very poor as not even my underwear managed to arrive home dry.
It would've been nice to arrive home to a towel and a warm smile that followed with “baby let's dry you up…” but I'm in the least grateful for not being greeted with something like “where the hell have you been”.
I've been spending more time than I should at work. I could blame old obstacles and new challenges or the fact that someone is on holiday but the truth is that I'm there later because I want to be, because there's nothing to come home to.
Watching tiny rivers stream down my window, I contemplated the advice I gave a friend earlier.
Find someone to love and hold on to that person.
Did I really say that? That sounds like something a really old person who’d forgotten what love is all about would say to someone like me.
I know for sure I wasn't trying to blow him off with some general, unfelt and unthought-of answer; so what was I thinking?
Either I'm getting old, or maybe old bags really have something when they say it's as simple as finding someone to love and then holding on…
People invest so little these days… or too much… but mostly too little.
Listening to drip drop song on my window sill, I sit in the darkness drying my hair with a towel and reveling in the warm feeling of dry pyjamas…
Right now, I don't think I'd rather be anywhere else in the world than right here… sitting on my bed, listening to the heavens hum the age old lullaby that guarantees me a peaceful sleep tonight. Perhaps I'll be blessed with sweet dreams… the kind that you wake up from with a stretch and a smile. Either way, I know I'm going to sleep nice.
I don't feel alone even though I'm the only person in the room…
Lately things seem so clear, even when they don't make any sense.
Somewhere along the line I gave up trying to make sense…
I fear it's a phase, though I'm not quite sure I want to climb out of it.
These days, I've given less thought about the things I can't resolve immediately.
I'm not sure if that's a good thing, but it leaves me feeling good about fate and gives me peace of mind…
Like the rain… I love it when it rains, just listen and not think of anything but the falling of the rain… Nothing in the world leaves me feeling more centered or secure.
Let it rain,
Let it fall,
Let it pour cats and dogs and may no spot be left dry as God washes the world with his tears… tears of joy, of sadness and of pure emotion…
Let it Rain.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi sweetie! Long time no see! And how I miss U! Luckily U send me messages and always keep in touch! When U talked about the towel, well, remember always U can have it from my hands(my soul) whenever U need it! Be Happy, be U! We need it A LOT!
KKK

PAULO SANTOS said...

Those fabulous rain tears....
(sorry my english...)
Querida sunshine...
Amei a presença e a força deste post!
Muito sinceramente o meu Ingles não é assim tão bom para que eu entenda a alma do post na Plenitude!
Entendo a mensagem...mas por vezes falta-me entender o amago!!!!

Li tua mensagem no meu ultimo post e tatuei-a para sempre em mim!
è demasiado Intensa para ser lida com ligeireza!
Mas penso nela e verdadeiramente a entendo, porque ja tive pessoas (não muitas, porque este é um grau de intimidade que partilho com poucas pessoas - isto da escrita...)que me disseram o mesmo!
Idolatramos o país mas so nos apercebemos da "miséria" da vergonha cá dentro!
Lembrou-me a fabulosa passagem de tim robbins para morgan freeman -no absolutamente genial "Os condenados de Shawshank" -
" Tive que vir para a prisão para me tornarladrão (vigarista)..."!!!!

Um beijo Imenso para ti fofinha e votos de um excelente fim de semana!

Teu amigo Paulo