Tuesday, June 30, 2009

In Tribute

Photosource: Unknown

This isn’t another tribute to Michael Jackson that relates how talented and gifted an artist he was… Just the fact that VH1 will still be playing his music for your grandchildren is enough proof of what he was made of.
The man was eccentric but he lived his life in his own way, trying to be happy in his own way – something every human being can relate to.
I pay my respects the best way I know how: I remember how he touched my life:

I must’ve been around 10 when I first heard of Michael Jackson, it was 1992 and South Africa was full of tension because of the first democratic elections that involved all South African races taking place in 1994.
By then the National Party was so desperate to try and cultivate some of the “black” votes that they began integration policies to soften “apartheid” or better known as internal segregation policies.
One of these new policies included the integration of black students in white schools.
Before the elections, this policy was for a lucky few whose parents had earned trust in the white community.
In 1993 the first black student was integrated into my class. I’ll never forget her because despite the immense courage it must’ve taken to integrate in an all-white school in an era where “apartheid” wasn’t fully abolished and “black-hate” was still wide spread – she arrived each day with her chin up. Her name is Sarah – one of the most influential women that passed through my life.
All schools did their best to prepare students for the change. This implied teaching children that the black community that was once considered “inferior” was now to be seen as our equal. For a society that for centuries had seen the black community as an inferior race – this was a difficult change to implement. Most students stood by their parent’s beliefs regardless of what the school tried to teach them.
We were in constant fear of retaliation from the unresigned white extremists.
I recall many parents pulling their children out of our school because of Sarah´s integration and although there nobody dared verbally abuse her, most students steered clear of Sarah´s way and were wary of her. I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like for her to be under constant scrutiny by both students and teacher’s alike.

That´s where Michael Jackson came in – An English teacher printed out the lyrics to “Black or White” and posted them in the doorway so that every student saw them on their way in.
Although it seemed like a small gesture, it came a long way – I distinctly recall hearing the lyrics being sung over and over again. They were certainly food for thought and I dare to say that they made a difference.
I still recall the lyrics to the whole song.

I bought the Dangerous album at a time when it was sold on tape and wore it off until I bought it once again later on CD.
I distinctly remember the first day I heard the album and thinking to myself “damn, I can’t decide which song is my favourite”
Michael Jackson´s music is simply Timeless – I still enjoy listening to it, my mother enjoys listening to it and my little brother likes it too!
Not all music has this capacity to satisfy so many generations.

So which is my favourite music – I still can´t choose but lately I´ve been singing a lot to myself “There’s something about you baby, that makes me want to give in to you….”
(Hit on the title of this post to get the song in my head) - In the Closet

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


Photosource: Unknown

I can’t focus.
Normally in a crisis I’m able to concentrate on my work and distract myself from what is bothering me but I can’t seem to wrap my mind around anything else besides that my dad is in an operating theatre and in the worst of circumstances could have his foot amputated.
One of diabetes’ effects is gangrene due to the lack of circulation to your limbs – google it and you’ll see the horror of it for yourself.
I haven’t quite gotten to the point where I reminisce on the possible consequences – right now the only thing that’s bothering me is that I’m here instead of there beside him.
I just want to be there – I know it wouldn’t medically make a difference but it would make it psychologically easier on both me and him.

I’m apologize.
I meant to write about the wonderful things I’ve been living lately. There’s so much to say that I never know what to write about first and then I end up not writing about it seeing as something else equally interesting happens.
Life has been good to me and I decided that living the things worth writing about was more important than getting to the writing part – hence the abandonment of this space.
But I’m still here – I still have great things I want to right about, I just haven’t gotten round to it to the satisfaction of the people who care about me and know that the absence isn’t just due to the ironing of clothes that keep piling up.

They say that the greatest of writers give of their best work when they’re depressed because it forces them to reach into their souls.
I’ve never agreed with that – I believe that you can reach into your soul at any period in your life and express whatever phase you’re in.
But I’m not a great example – I’ve been too happy to write and today when I’m sad is when I feel the desperate need to write about what’s going on in my head.
I don’t write for anyone else but for the need to “hear myself think”.
I’ve missed writing.

Do you know what I hate about life?
That it brings your world down on your head causing utmost devastation – and yet it doesn’t give you the chance to pick yourself up before moving on.
The world keeps spinning and if you want to survive you have to keep on you own two feet even when your knees hold no strength and simply want to buckle.
It’s tearing me apart because I can’t be with my dad and yet I still function; I work; I sort out other of life’s daily problems; I ponder about my upcoming air conditioning installation and I even plan a day at the beach this weekend…
We develop poker faces to the point that sometimes we lose the notion when to stand firm and when to fall apart.
I’m at neither of these points –
I’m just sad and with the desperate urge to be beside my dad.
Update 29/06/2009:
Dad is doing well, they only cleaned up the infected part and he´ll probably be able to go home today. I´m relieved and thankful to everyone who gave me support and had my dad in their thoughts and prayers.