Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Sunshine´s Six

Picture: www.tamzins-gallery.co.uk

Sunshine has been put to the challenge and those who know me; know all too well that I've never been one to back down from one… And the challenge is:
6 words that describe the author of this column… me.
As my challenger himself had said… it's not an easy task, for who could sum up a person or a lifetime in only 6 words? For someone who lives for the mere experience of living… this definitely wasn't an easy one… however, here goes my answer to the challenge and a thank-you to the person who put me up to it; it certainly reminded me of who I am and how far I've come:

It's not only a nickname but my way of being. I was given the nickname because my spirit is radiant. I infect the people around me with good humour and good vibes. I make it my sole mission to get people to smile deep enough to reach their hearts. You might not see me on a dark night… but I'm the star waiting to bring in the morning, to warm up souls and dry the tears.

Majestic, powerful and comforting… I love the sea. This is where I go to recharge my batteries, to heal my hurts or just to be. I love water, I love being near water and in water. When happy I splash it with joy, when I'm sad it collects my tears… when I'm angry it lets me work my frustrations until I've vented them all out in each stroke that I swim.

Music & Dance
My remedy, my saviour, my soul… I can't live without music. It's the first thing I put on in the morning and the last thing I switch off at night. To feel the music soothe, move your body, take over your soul and speak to your heart. I consider dancing and music as one because I believe they go hand in hand – you shouldn't have one without the other.

Because there's no justification in a lie… because the truth always surfaces and because a lie destroys lives and people. Hypocrisy, manipulation… it's all different forms of lying. Why can't people just tell the truth or keep quiet, it's a hell of a lot easier, it keeps you honest and gives you dignity.

If you believe… then anything is possible. Believe in yourself, believe in your work, and believe that whatever happens, it happens for a reason. Greater than courage, stronger than determination and wiser than perseverance is the hope and the faith that a person invests in everything they do. I'm a believer.

There's not a soul on this planet that can live without it. What good is any life if you don't have someone to share it with? Someone to bare witness? Someone that you can turn to and say “Did you see that?!”. Over the years I've met a lot of people, made amazing friends and had the time of my life at family events. I've loved and been loved in return and I live in the belief that all you need in life is love to be a happy person. I am.

I live by the moment, for the moment. Every moment is to be appreciated and recorded to be played back on rainy days or reunions. To make the moment count – to live it to it's fullest. To laugh, to cry, to sing, love and rejoice… the moments of life are like the paragraphs in a book, the scenes in the plays or the chorus of a song, either or you make something of it or it passes you by.

Yikes… and that's it folks. I do believe I stood well up to my challenge… as for the words that are missing… let's just say that there's a piece of me in everything I do. Candles, Smiles, Angels, Laughter, Independence, Friendship… there are so many more, you can find them in all my other posts.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006


Photo: Sunshine

I love flying… it's like living another life all on its own. I could live my life from a suitcase, zooming in and out airports. It occurred to me at Charles de Gaulle that the airport is the one place in the world where I feel whole… perhaps it's the illusion that I'm going somewhere… in transit. Gone but not there…
Sitting on the plane, I took a look around at my companions for the next ten hours… whatever happened on this plane… we'd experience it together.
Under the seat in front of me was the soul of the plane… the black box, here’s where the truth of the trip is recorded. My neighbours next to me saw it as well and to break the ice I winked at the cute blonde and told him that we were sitting in the safe aisle
“They'll be looking for us first!”
Amused he laughed in a typically South African tone that made me feel like I was almost there… come on big birdie… take mamma home!
Due to technical problems, the flight was delayed for an hour… For over three months I've been counting down the days, during the last four days I'd been counting down the hours, and a delay for someone who's counting down the minutes is nothing short than torture…
Although, I can't say that I was stressed or nervous… if I had it my way, I'd make a plane my permanent home… alright, so I guess I'd get sick of it eventually… but while I don't… I'll enjoy the fact that while up in the air I'm free… free from my past and not yet bound to my future… until I reach my destination, I'm whoever and whatever I want to be… just a face in the crowd, someone to sit next to.
Why would anyone want to disappear like that?
I call it the much needed and desired pause in life… up in the air, time stops. I can think without having to, just set my mind and thoughts free with no influence.
I thought myself silly as I explained to myself this concept, but then I saw a trolley with Haagan Dazs and it all made sense.
I'm NEVER flying TAP ever again! Air France has a private TV on each seat allowing me to pick my channel and movie… 20 movies to choose from, each starting every fifteen minutes. Then it has games… Tetris, Soduku, Solitaire and my personal all time favourite: Mahjong. The air hostesses are nice and first class is without a doubt first class... I thought those fold out chairs that turn into a bed was only on American planes for the rich but they really do stretch out into miniature beds!
I'm writing this with the knowledge that I have nothing to say, nothing poetic and nothing worth mentioning. I might not even post this one...
Yet in the darkness of this plane, I feel the need to talk… And as fate would have it… I'm talking to my computer screen!
The couple next to me are in their early sixties and they hold hands every now and again, just to comfort each other, just to let one another know that they're there.
I've always wished someone special would sit next to me, that we'd be flying somewhere together… maybe I'd be taking him to meet some place I once knew, maybe he’ll be taking me to some place I haven't met yet.
I’d have someone’s shoulder to lay my head on, there would be a heavy hand that occasionally rested on my thigh and after some strategic caresses, hopefully he'd be the first to say:
“You keep that up and I won't be held responsible for my actions!”
I'd give him my most innocent look and make him promise to make it up to me at our destination.
Adventure! With someone instead of always facing it alone… Diving with the sharks probably isn't as much fun on your own… Who will witness your experience?
There's but a stranger sitting beside me… and I'm flying solo.
I remind myself of the joy that awaits me when I land… the two men that I love most in the world are picking me up at the airport… and yet, at this precise moment, that knowledge does little to warm my heart.
Deciding the chill I felt was due to the temperature, I fished out my jersey and paid my first visit to the lavatory… I took off my blouse and put on my jersey, pausing only to note that I should’ve gotten more sun this summer, no one was going to believe I came from one of Portugal’s hottest summers… oh well, I guess I'll first right in along with all the other South Africans pale from the winter. Snow White… it's either that or lobster.
Taking a better look into the mirror, it also occurred to me that although the cubicle was rather small… two people could still squeeze in and make for a rather interesting flight.
I laughed at myself as I imagined different positions, all of which would make for an interesting memory in old age. I stopped laughing however when I looked in the mirror and realized that the only person laughing was me... I was alone.
I'm tired… my battery is low and I'm out of inspiration. I have so much to look forward to and yet, if I could, instead of a ten hour flight… I'd make it eternity… after I'm there, time will fly, it will pass and all that there’ll be left for me is my flight back home…
I don't know what or where that is… Resilient, I adapt to almost any nook and cranny and yet if you ask me where I feel most at home, my answer would be: “at the airport, on a plane”… how sad, that what I most seek to build is what constantly eludes my hands.
By saying this I can picture one my colleagues giving me her most serious expression and telling me that when I least expect it, I'll have it all.
I wonder if she tells me these things just to comfort me, but then she looks at me with so much conviction that my heart wills her to be right even when it has given up hope of it being so.
Depressed me? Heavens no… Just thinking about the stuff I constantly tell myself not to think about. Up here I've allowed myself to think about these things…
I've allowed myself to feel fragile, lonely and scared… at least for the remainder of my ten hour flight…
What else am I thinking about?... wouldn't you like to know! I'd tell you about it but I don't believe that my laptop will last past the next five minutes…
Maybe another time… on another flight.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

When I´m Gone...

Picture by Brian Blaine Reynolds

What if my plane crashed down…
If on the road, I got pulled under a truck…
What If I fell asleep never to open my eyes again?

Death is something we don't think about much, or when we do… we always associate it to someone else. And then someone is taken from us… and our world comes tumbling down.

Getting killed isn't exactly the most intelligent topic to consider 24 hours before getting on a plane… but I found myself wondering; what if?

My first reflection was on my own life: have I lived a life worth dying for? Am I proud of who I am and what I've done with my twenty four years on earth? Could I have done more? Did I do enough? Simple questions with complicated answers. I didn't hesitate though, mostly because I don't regret the mistakes I've made along time… they’ve determined how far I've come and looking back objectively, there's very little I would change, I daresay, nothing at all… I am who and what I am because of the choices I've made and frankly, I like who I've become.
There would be three: The university degree that has evaded me, the man I want to love and make happy and the family I want to build and raise.
Death would be cruel to rob me of those three goals… the one's I've living for.
Other than those… I have no regrets, none that would haunt me in the afterlife.

So let's pretend that I'm at the finish line… now what? What would be of my memory? Most people reply: “What do I care after I'm gone! I won't know anyway”
And although this may or may not be true… I'm not of the same opinion.
I care about the legacy I leave behind, I care about the memory of me in each and every heart that I've lived to touch.
And how would I like to be remembered?
How else?!! As Sunshine… the girl that believed in being happy is more than a state of mind, it's a choice of spirit. The person that believed in love, even when blinded by tears of disappointment;
The friend that could be counted on;
The colleague that gave her best;
The daughter that accepted and understood;
The sister that loved truly, deeply and unconditionally;
The girl that believed…
The woman that survived, lived and rescued.
The ex-girlfriend that taught that love is an undying emotion, that gave her whole heart, that made all the difference…

I'd like to remembered for my spirit, my inner light, my courage, determination, inspiration and above all… for my belief in the good in people and all things.
I'd like to remembered for my smile… with a smile, even if accompanied with a tear.
For my adventurous spirit and initiative… for the all the times I was unpredictable, for each time I was present, for the courage of my convictions.
I've been happiest when I dance, when I sing, when I laugh so hard that my stomach hurts, when I work, when I play… all of which was made possible by those that fill my heart with joy: my family, my friends… and yes, my colleagues as well.
Leaving them behind is the only unbearable consequence of death… if there is life on the other side of life; I can't imagine it without all these people.
It hurts me even more to think of the pain my absence would cause them; it's incredibly selfish and stupid to ask someone you love not to cry for you when you're gone… wouldn't you cry for them?! Who am I to ask them to be robbed of their release…
Yet my only wish is that after the tears have dried up, that they're left with the happy memories of me. I'd like to die knowing that I've left something positive with each person I've met, that at some point in their lives they'll remember me with a smile saying “I remember a ray of Sunshine…”

I tried picturing my funeral… I avoided imagining my parent’s expressions; my little brother’s look most of all… Instead I saw my coffin and an ocean of faces that I'd met along the way trying to remember how they met me and the good times… if there were a song playing it would be Lighthouse’s: “Ain´t no sunshine when she’s gone”.
It's not the original version but it's my favourite version of the song… I know one or two souls that already associate this music to me and probably would be singing it to themselves in the back of their minds…
Wait a minute! I'm not meant to be in a coffin!! Who determined that I should be food for the worms?... Get me out of there! Rather turn my remains to ashes and set them free where my essence will forever remain.
So let's think about where I want to be scattered…
Not all at one place… that would be forgetting my entire history. I hope my parents have the sense to divide me in three and take me to three places I've so far called home. At the end of an afternoon when the sun is setting and the waves are calm… I'd like to be scattered over the oceans from South Africa, Madeira and Lisbon.
Those who know me well… know that no other place would make sense.

How morbid! To think of letting this life go… I've still got so much to do that I can't think of my time ending already… I guess I should feel privileged to already have come this far, I can't imagine being anywhere else. I believe I’ve lived the most honest life that I could… or at least I've tried my best to… so I hope God makes me an angel so that I'm allowed to come down and check up on the people I love and occasionally whisper in their ears. With a bit of luck, I'll be allowed to be a part of the small miracles in their lives… the kind that will make them wake up in the morning feeling happy to be alive.
There are things I'd like to say to every individual in my life but overall I feel that I haven't left anything to be said… I mean what I say and say what I mean therefore people have no reason to doubt the relationship I’ve had with them.
Okay so there may be one or two people I'd like to say a few extra words to (I guess there's always someone…) but if life didn't give me that chance to say what I havn't said until now, I'll trust that someone else will, or that their hearts will tell them what deep down they already know.

Are there people waiting for me on the other side? My two grandfathers’, will they fetch me when I take my last breath? Fatima… I hope she’s there with her eternal smile upon her face and her little Bambi on her shoulder. Will Dyna and Pitó be there as well? Do dogs go to heaven when they die?... I hope so, otherwise I want to go wherever they went.

What will I miss most about life?
Ice-cream! A vanilla corneto if you please!... Water, the luxurious feeling of feeling wet and of diving into a watery world. Walks on the beach, that incredible feeling of sand and the water that kisses your feet… the salty smell of the ocean, the heat in a kiss from the sun on your skin. Snow… lots of it! White, pure and thick, the product of winter’s magic! Autumn’s leaves!... Green, orange and brown that collect at my feet when the wind blows. The wind in my hair and taking deep breaths of life… Flowers! The colours, the scent… the beauty, that feeling in your stomach when someone gives you a rose. Butterflies in my stomach, when I'm ecstatically happy, when I'm in love, when I laugh so hard that it hurts… laughter, smile – happy ones, naughty ones, all of them naturally made from the soul.
Fireworks on New Years day, grandma’s pudding at Christmas, singing in the shower, dancing in my socks… Hugs and Kisses! KISSING!!! - Deeply, profoundly, intensely, lovingly…
Life is so much fun; I hope I get to stay long.

What started off as a gloomy post has resulted in my appreciation of life. We all know that life should be lived by the moment and to the maximum but most of the time we're distracted and the moment passes us by.
I don't believe that I'm anywhere near the end of my life although I'm aware that death is fate’s choice and not my own. And yet, today… the day that marks 5 years since I've left South Africa and faced life on my own, it occurs to me how responsible we really are for the way our lives turn out.
We're pawns of fate but only victims of destiny if we choose to be… destiny is our choice and even when we don't make one, that in itself is a decision made.
Evaluating the last five years, I'm satisfied with my choices – no regrets. I hope that five years from now on looking back, I'll feel this proud of my life's course.
I hope I'm old before I die… I hope I'll have lots more memories to look back on, I want the opportunity to make more people smile.

Life is a stage that permits no rehearsals therefore sing, dance, laugh and love intensely until the curtain closes without applause – William Shakespeare.

Kind Appeal

Photo Source: Unknown

There are days on which I feel like slapping you silly; times on which I'd love to punch your daylights out, and moments that I'd give anything to knock some sense into you!
What is it?!
What is your exact problem?
Why do you look everywhere else but at my face when you're talking to me?
I hate this feeling like we're walking around eggshells around each other.
What are you expecting me to say?
What are you avoiding?!
What is there to be afraid of?!
How long will we keep avoiding each other?

I'm a dancer not a fighter.
If you take a step towards me, I’ll take another step towards you.
But if you're waiting for something more…
Don't bother…
I only take the initiative; a second attempt would be insisting…
I don't and I won't.
Nobody likes a nag now do they?

Let's avoid the earths natural gravitational pull…
You go your way and I'll go mine and occasionally we'll touch base.
I don't feel guilty about stepping over life’s signs for the simple reason that it takes two to Tango; if that were case, I would've already dived in and take my chances with the sharks…
Play it however you want, the ball is on your court in any case…
Don't do me any favours, I don't need them and we already discussed the fact that you don't like demands or being told what to do… so consider this a reasonable request:
On the times that our paths cross and there something to be said:
Look at me while I'm talking to you.


In our department, we believe in the sandwich theory. The way it works is that each time you're going to give feedback to a colleague or operator, the idea is first to point out their strong points, then point out those that they need to work on and then end off by once again commending them on their good points.
Can you see the sandwich?
With one week to go before I go on vacation: Three colleagues on leave, another colleague absent, exchange program in vigor, training sessions to prepare and give to the advanced operators along with the monthly audits and the lose ends all to be managed in one week. Let’s not forget the occasional system errors, unforeseen cases and the respective phonecalls that go with them.
So it's been a tough week and time management was crucial in order to get things done. I'd say that I felt my share of stress but not to any alarming level…. I can't say that I did anything extraordinary beside manage my time and lose ends effectively – something I already strive to do daily.

I recall that sinking feeling I'd feel back at school if ever called up to the headmaster’s office and although I'm a big girl now and the only office I get called to is my managers; I always get that cold chill down my spine in fear that the motive was originated from something I did wrong.
I'm an Aries – I hate making mistakes (and profoundly loathe making the same mistake twice.)

So when I was called into my manager’s office when I have no pending cases, butterflies began flying in my stomach especially after being told that it wouldn't take long and that I should sit.
My manager looked me straight in the eye and told me that it has been a pleasure working with me and that he considers me a competent professional. He thanked me for the effort I'd been putting in and noted it more for being under difficult circumstances.
As I heard me compliment me on my good humour and attitude, my mind began searching for the meat inside that sandwich…
I thought about all the situations in which I could’ve botched and mentally double checked all my pending cases but nothing occurred to me, stressing me out even more due to the fact that if I wasn't aware of the problem, then it must be really bad…

My jaw dropped and I stared at my boss…

As it turns out there was no meat: no sandwich! Just the compliments.
That's it? No cheese and ham in the middle? No problem? Nothing that needs polishing? No ulterior motive…
Just the good stuff.

Dumbfounded and caught off guard, I was clueless at how to reply… my expression must’ve clearly demonstrated my confusion and the only reaction that occurred to me was to thank him. So I thanked my manager and went back to the nosegrind trying to recover from the shock.

I've never been very good with compliments. My face changes colour and I never do quite know how to respond. Perhaps because I don't find anything extraordinary in being and investing yourself in what you do – isn't that after all what I'm paid to do?!
Then there's the fact that all my colleagues have putting an extra amount of effort into these last few days and so I didn't do any different than anyone else has.
Not that my manager didn't notice, we all received an e-mail complimenting us on our teamwork in this particular week.
I believe in the momentary praise; complimenting a colleague for the great work once he's presented it or letting a person know how much you enjoy working with them after you've done something particularly fun or credible together.
However, a manager going out of his way to let you know that he's noticed and appreciates your work and effort… that's new to me.

The importance of taking note and appreciating another person's work?
Let's just say that if my destiny wasn't South Africa, I'd be tempted to cancel my vacation in order to stay and work.
Motivation… it develops your desire do to more and better.

He's not giving me a raise,
I'm not up for a promotion,
There isn't going to be material gain
And yet, the few words of recognition were of the utmost value.
To know that my effort was noticed.
To know that my work is valued.
To know that I that I'm valued… valuable to the company.
That knowledge in itself can't be put a price tag on.

I woke up this morning with the distinct desire to tell each and every one of my colleagues how much I enjoy working with them. Some would without a doubt deserve more praise than others but in all, I can't say that there's a soul in my department that makes my life difficult… if anything, I've felt a helping hand from them all at some point or other. Nowadays I heartily feel more a part of a team than I did a year ago.
To avoid risking being put in an insane asylum or told to get off the Xanax… I decided to save my words for the right moment… not because I need one but simply because I want to say it not only from the heart but from the soul as well.

There's always that someone that makes our life's a little easier, be sure to thank them every now and again.

Thursday, September 07, 2006


Two women stared at each other in silent comprehension.
Advice was futile, especially when considering that there are no guarantees. All and any advice given was at the subjectivity of personal experience and therefore when there are no formulas or certainties, all a friend can really do for another friend is listen.
When there are decisions to be made with no right or wrong answers, all one can do to help is try to understand and empathize.
I watched her, scared and insecure, standing at the crossroads.
Anyone who's ever found themselves in a no-win situation knows that your sole prayer is that the decision you make will be the best for all in the long run – the one that causes the least pain to all involved.
My heart broke as she told me in how many pieces hers has been torn in and I longed to comfort her and tell her that everything would be alright – we both knew that in the short run, that wasn't a probability.
Instead, all I could do was listen and hope that venting would release some of the stress and weight upon her shoulders
Fierce frustration! When you watch some one you care about suffer for the one thing that should make them happy – love.

Why does it have to be as complicated with something as simple as falling in love?
I've heard of few, if any, love stories that didn't have a twist to it… The human being somehow insists on putting love to the test. Why deny the soul its very reason for existence? It seems that we all run from the thing we were born to find.
We think up excuses not to listen to our hearts and then tell ourselves that our heads know best, and then we wonder why we're not happy.
We define our personalities by what is politically correct or seen as acceptable by a group of minds and forget that our hearts and souls are what define our individuality. To be an individual, one must follow a path that no one else can draw a map for.
An original life is uncharted territory due to the fact that the heart defines the direction in which an individual should go and grow.
And yet we fight this, telling ourselves that we want to be different when all we're doing is allowing ourselves to be the same as the image we create drawn from some or other philosophy.

Truly there is but one key to salvation: communication.
You can't make a good and worthy decision without knowing all the facts, and when dealing with the heart and the object of your affections, you're dependant on their thoughts, feelings and sincerity.
Not a comforting thought when you're not guaranteed the whole truth.
People tend to omit information, to hide from feelings and avoid defining themselves… because they're scared or because they speak from their logic instead of their hearts.
And yet we need to know, need their perspective otherwise we make decisions on hunches or guesses and as any wise person will tell you:
Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups!

If you're lucky enough to get the other party to talk – your next impossible mission will be to get them to define what they want and develop a plan of action.
In other words: what are we going to do about it?

What leaves me angry and bitter is the fact that people take so little responsibility for their feelings. We've been taught to take up huge amounts of responsibility in our lives for the actions and decisions we make and yet we aren't taught to deal with the emotions developed.
And so we run from them, hide from them and hope that somehow they'll sort themselves out. Some believe that they can reprogram their hearts to synchronize with their minds; others prefer to ignore their hearts completely and hope that one day they won't even remember what it once desired.
We simply don't trust that our hearts know what makes us happy… perhaps because the risks past taken have caused tears. What we forget is that pain is inevitable, suffering is optional and telling yourself to feel what your heart doesn't is delusional and impossible.

My experience with men is that they believe that if they don't voice it, then it'll eventually go away… God forbid they'll ever have to commit to a feeling! To do so would be to be imprisoned by the sentiment felt towards that person… and these days nobody wants to be tied down.
I wonder how they would react to the philosophy that the most freedom a man can hope for is to be able to choose the prison he lives in.
As morbid as that may seem, the way I see it is that love was never meant to be a prison or an institution you commit yourself to. It's an involuntary emotion that develops and ties you to a person in ways you can never free yourself from.
A relationship is what you build from that emotion.
There's a scary word… relationship. People forget that with everyone we know, we have some or other kind of relationship and how we feel towards them is what determines its nature. How free or tied up a person is in a relationship depends solely on how free or tight the person allows the relationship to develop into.
You know you're in love when you feel free, not at a point where you feel limited.
I thought back at all the men I know that avoid and run from commitment, that live afraid of being tied down… I then realized that I knew very few that didn't.

The worst crime a man can commit is to touch a woman's heart without the intention of loving her; not committing to the love he may feel for her and yet never letting her free to go.

He was intent on living a free life of experience. Intensely, he'd experience every woman that he brought into his web. But the moment that the passion developed into something real, he'd end it quicker than you can say run. Because the only thing he planned to build on was on himself and his career and because he didn't want anybody depending on him or his time. He thrived on the superficial intensity of the moment and then one morning he woke up and looked into the mirror wondering why he wasn't happy.
If he can get any woman he wants, lose himself in the arms and company of one beautiful woman after another, what more should he want for?
Often we forget that love isn't something we're given in order to be happy, it's something we feel that brings happiness into everything we live. And yet we look for it inside the perfect package we imagine it to look like.

To know he's there even with your eyes closed, to feel the magic and have your heart tell you that you're not imagining it… and then to not be able to do anything with it.
That's a tragedy!
When the other person won't own up to his feelings or define any direction, you find yourself wanting to be bet on the safe side… to let go.
And this is how a soul wastes a reincarnation and accumulates karma, by surviving instead of living his life.

Emotional Intelligence – We could all do with some it, considering that people have forgotten what it is to listen to their souls.
If I only I could change the way the world works!
I'd give people strength of spirit, to believe in themselves and follow their dreams. Most importantly… to invest in love, wholly… blindly… completely.
To take away the fear of getting hurt and knowing that it doesn't destroy one's capacity to love.
The world would without a doubt be a happier place.

Looking the other woman in the eyes, I knew what we both knew: deep down she'd already made a decision and now she needed to come to terms with it. Because all feelings need to run their course until reaching their destined purpose. And that it's no use telling yourself your decision, it's something that needs to seep through your veins and into your soul before you heart accepts that the love it feels isn't the love that it's meant to beat for in this lifetime.
I shivered as I recalled the torturous time that it took to cleanse my soul of the poison contaminating my heart of love for the man I wasn't destined to be with.
At some point, I'd say at the very edge of madness, I found the strength to turn my back and let go… to lose the good along with the bad that he was in my life. To rebuild, redefine my life…and even risk caring about someone new.
But that’s me, and I don't recommend my road to anyone if for the simple fact that I believe that everyone needs to discover what’s best for them.
Not that she wanted advice, or seeked it. She merely needed someone to listen, someone how had been down that road before and had felt anything similar to what she was feeling.
Helpless to do or say anything constructive, I hoped my eyes communicated the comfort my words couldn't.
I smiled and told her to hang in there.