Friday, November 04, 2005

Goodbye

I went to see him.
Not for any particular reason other that the desire to look into his eyes and see the smile upon his face.
Time grows short… and so I take in as much of him as I can, before it’s all over.

Feelings are eternal even if relationships are not. Some relationships are doomed to carry a biological clock with an expiry date that determines the point which two souls drift from each other. They take with them only the memories and the feelings… it’s all that I’ll be left with soon.

In life, there are those relationships which we know where they’ll end… death and distance takes away the people we care about. Others are determined by the hands of fate, which either surprises us or gradually takes a person away. I’ve read somewhere that each relationship either lasts a moment, a period, a season or a lifetime depending on what we stand to learn from it. I believe that every lesson life chooses to teach us is given a deadline and many times, we pass it by due to our own stubbornness or distraction… when life is kind, the opportunity may come by again. With people however, it seldom does… we have to wait another lifetime.

When your soul quietens and you drown out the sounds of the world, shutting out reasons and opinions – you hear it… that voice that speaks along with the beat of your heart and speaks to you of things past and things to come. Often we drown out the voice that tells of the things hard to overcome even though it is often the hero that pulls us through. Some call this voice your instinct, your spirit or even the voice of angels as it tells you the secrets of now and the future. The voice that speaks to your heart and encourages your faith… that feeling that you simply know…

I know…
I know our time is short…
I feel him slipping away…
I don’t want to lose him… but it’s not my decision to make.

There are so many things I could try to prevent it…
But I know it’s unavoidable…
I know…

Does he feel it like I do? Know it like I do? Perhaps he’s accepted it the way I have or perhaps he’s chosen not to take heed. Most people react with denial, refusing to believe or believing that they are capable to changing the inevitable. Perhaps I too should fight… but I grow tired of fighting alone in a game for two. Naïve are those who think they have utter control, for we are but fortune’s fools… there comes a time when we all surrender leaving the lesson for another lifetime… taking only the memories and the feelings with us.
Standing on the deck before the ship hits the iceberg, I know now that there’s nothing more I can do to prevent it from sinking so I make the most of the short time I have left. Taking a look at the stars in the sky, slowly saying goodbye although still praying for a miracle – tomorrow morning the sun with rise again with or without the ship afloat. One I’ll board that ship again, but not on this ocean… not in this lifetime.

1 comment:

Luisa Singer said...

How I understand you... it´s so sad when your twin soul doesn´t recongnize you. But like you sayed, sometimes it´s not meant to be, not on this life. It happened to me twice as you know, but we must be strong and accept our destiny, it´s all for the greater good...for our inner growth and evolution as souls. So, shake your sadness away, wipe your tears, life is young and there´s so much for you to acomplish yet as a human being, and you have so much in that royal heart to give. You´ll be just fine!! Lot´s of kisses