Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Reading the Signs

I don’t believe in coincidences.
I believe that everything happens for a reason and that most of what happens in people’s lives are either consequences of their decisions or the road signs representing the path that they’re on.

If fate is the checkpoints we must all go through, then destiny is the road we choose to get to them. As an adventurer, someone who takes risks in life and enjoys travelling the narrow and less travelled upon roads; I nonetheless am cautious and do my best to pay attention to the signs that life gives me. I don’t always see them, I may even misinterpret them, but I know they’re always there guiding my way or confirming my decisions. It’s easy to take a wrong turn in life but very seldom can one truthfully say that the signs weren’t there…

I woke up this morning from a dream I couldn’t control and decided to start they day putting it out of my mind. The memory was gone by the time I brushed my teeth but it threatened to submerge with the desire to have Philadelphia cheese on bread for breakfast.
This wasn’t the sign – It was the mental association one makes between things and people and I only allowed it a minute to prevail.

By the time I sat in the metro, I was in a fantastic mood ready to take on the world and decided to scan my surroundings for an interesting face. It was at the second station that we stopped that a man with a brown leather jacket walked in, jolting a spark of recognition within me. His face wasn’t familiar but the way he concentrated all his attention on his palm top reminded me of someone who was.
This wasn’t the sign either – This is the mental registration caused by a resemblance between someone you know… or knew.

Work! – The marvellous distraction in life that allows you to succumb to your talents and ambitions, drowning out all of the ego’s influence. Self-satisfied and absorbed in my tasks, I’d given very little attention to any signs that may have surrounded me. So much so that by the time I looked at the watch on my computer, I realised that half of my lunch hour had been lost. Grabbing a sandwich and a can of juice from the vending machine, I sat on my chair for a quick snack and allowed my body to relax and my senses to rein free…that’s when it caught me – the melody playing on the radio. My lips began repeating the lyrics flowing into my ears by Phil Collins. Closing my eyes I was suddenly in a very green place where the air was fresh and my cheeks were pink and I was staring at a face that was incredulous that I’d never heard the song before. In too deep – the song and the lyrics with the power to overflow me with all the emotions of the memory.
This wasn’t the sign – It was the painful reminder of things past and the automatic link that the mind makes to a memory.

Once again, fully concentrated on my work, my mind was so preoccupied that I almost missed the sign put up for me:
The colleague who sat in front of me had fallen into the misfortune of falling in love with a man who was not interested in her. Driven by her obsession by him, she was on the phone to a friend describing how she’d followed him at lunch to see who he was having lunch with and to my utter horror; I overheard her asking her friend who must work with or near him, to report back his every action. She hung onto the most insignificant of his movements that must’ve occupied every second of her thoughts.
That was my sign!
The mirror of what I might’ve become if I hadn’t made the decisions I made when I once felt a love that wasn’t returned. It was a confirmation of my decision, a cry for a help that I could give and the beginning of deeper friendship.

It was a sign and I’m grateful that I saw and embraced it.

We’re once again at a festive season where bad feelings are forgotten and we spend time with those we love and care about the most. It’s been a whole year since I felt my father’s arms around me, and the joy of a family Christmas. I couldn’t hold back the tears that fell as a Christmas tree and the making of a Christmas liqueur reminded me of some of the happiest moments of my life… it feels like they were just yesterday…
These aren’t signs – They are reminders of the blessings God gives us and the reasons why life and fight to survive.
My will was to retreat into the privacy of my room where I could weep my father’s absence but instead:
I wiped my tears and made myself useful in the kitchen where my cousin and I exchanged jokes and memories.

The signs of life are only there to pinpoint our location, remind us where we came from and warn us of the path ahead. We can choose to heed or ignore these signs, decide what to make of them and which direction we want to go.

Have a safe journey.


Anonymous said...

Hi sweetie! U R fantastic! Your recovery capacity is amazing! And is good to have U back! I was missing U!

Quicha said...

Hey you!
Good column :-)
When reading this post something clicked in my mind and I wanted to share it with you.
I think that no matter what roads we choose to take in our life we can never take the wrong one, everything happens for a reason, that is our destiny.
Bye for now!