Thursday, February 16, 2006

Clear Illusions

Have you ever stared at an object for so long that the image began to distort before your very eyes?
You blink.
But no sooner has the image cleared before it begins distorting once again.
Eventually there is no solution other than to close your eyes and open them once again to see clearly the object you were looking at.
Sometimes you might find that after opening your eyes you see the object clearer than when you first looked at it.
You might notice details that you hadn’t taken note of before or you may even look at it from a different angle or perspective.

Sometimes, when you open your eyes you find that what you thought you were looking at is really something completely different.

I find that people are the same.
We often forget the first impression we have of people due to the fact that we spend too much time seeking to define them.
Sometimes we see the person we first met when we stop to blink, but our expectations drive us back to the image we created of them.
Then suddenly one day – we open our eyes and we see people exactly for who they are.

One of the great lessons my father taught me was sooner or later each person you know will disappoint you.
Some may disappoint more than others – some more often than others, at times with more or less intensity.
The secret is in weighing the intention behind the offence.
If you accept that the human being was born to make mistakes and learn from them then forgiveness becomes easier to do and hurt weighs less.
Our egos are responsible for taking things so personally, you will find that most of the pain suffered wasn’t intended as injury, granting pardon to almost every offence.
Actions speak louder than words but intentions weigh heavier!

To forgive or not to forgive? – It all depends on the intention.

Intention is what leads us to act and react – or not! And to know and understand another’s intentions you have to ask!
I believe that the vast amount of the world’s problems would be solved if people just spoke and listened to one another. How else will you comprehend a person if you do not know the motives which leads that person to behave the way they do?!
Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups!
And the awful truth is that when we don’t have all the answers we tend to fill in the blanks with the worst-case scenario conclusions.

Once seeing the other person for who they really are we are left with two choices – either we relate to them or we don’t. Either we want to include them in our lives or we choose to make them merely part of a silent audience that changes with the surroundings.
Respect and accept people for who they are – allow them to choose and mould their identity just as you desire the freedom to choose your own.
We can’t all be friends, but we can all get along.

Sometimes we discover that the rocks we were staring at are diamonds in the rough, other times we discover that the puddle of mud we stepped into is really a big pool of S%#T! These are the illusions we tend to remember more.
The heart breaks and loses hope when it realises that the oasis it was looking at was no more than a desert’s mirage…

Keep the faith – the journey only ends with death and even that is a beginning. Until then, there is still so much to see along the way. Staring will never mould an image into the desired illusion… Instead take a look around you, somewhere is the real thing your heart seeks.


Patrícia Chaparrínho said...

Wise words my dear friend... so... you think if I pinch myself the oasis will go away and that ashole will go away with all the pain that he´s been causing and he will leave me with the nice and calm desert? Hope you´re right! Cause I don´t mind being a Camel, I´m just tired of swimming in a lake of alcool with a bleeding heart.
Well... like Robbie Williams says in his song: "When love is dead, I´m loving Angels instead". To much faith is never enough.
Big cuddle for you!

Elvio said...

Sunshine, you always seem to amaze me, these wise words of wisodom are so true to the heart.
You have touched me, and made me realise so many mistakes ive done in the past.
Sometimes we need friends to help us open our eyes, thank you for that.
I can only grow stronger with your insperation.

Quicha said...

Very true! Like you said, no ones perfect, I agree that communication is the key to all relationships, but this doesn't always seem like the easiest way out so sometimes we take the path we think is the best for the situation. I've made a lot of mistakes, we all do, hopefully we learn from them, maybe not the first time, but at least the second time around. *Keep smiling*

mixtu said...


mixtu said...

...scenario conclusions...

(Em português, adoro-te)xiuuuuuu, fica só entre nós,

IceVsFire said...

Grandes palavras mas no entanto eskecest do outro lado da kuando estas no deserto e de repente vez k na tas sos k sempre tinhas tido o teu oasis ao pe de ti mas k simplesmente nao o vias por k estavas de costas pa ele....o vezes é um mal necessario...outras vezes e apenas uma açção justificada ou um acto de piedade e misericordia...
Kuanto aos danos no coração....sao temporarios na t precupes...irão passar...poderão deixar marca...provavelmente sim mas na passara mais do k ixo ..uma marca do passado.....
Para alem disso se kiseres faz cm eu..quando conhcers alguem na cries expectativas...apenas aceita-o na hora ou nao...sem expectativas na a desilusao..soa um bocado frio mas na pratica não ou é..e mais cm uma seleção natural...sem expectativas e sem desilusoes!!

Storm said...

To Forgive? To Forget?
I believe we´ve had this conversation before.
Remember what you told me? A grudge isn´t healthy and forgiveness should be for everyone.

How you relate to them afterwards is another story........

I know you Sunshine, no matter how much you´ve changed with the years I kow that inside youre still made of good stuff