Safe In His Arms

Photosource: Unknown

Have you ever had one of those nightmares that you couldn't wake up from?

I found myself in a cold airport terminal looking out the giant windows at the white and grey airplane destined to take the people I loved away from me.
One by one, sad faces hugged me goodbye before heavily walking through the check in counter into dark corridors that took them further away from me.
There was nothing I could do as one by one, I watched them walk away.
I wept of pure anguish and frustration.
I felt alone, lost and abandoned…

When suddenly I felt someone hold me from behind and I surrendered to the warmth of his embrace… I didn't need to turn around; I already knew who was holding me…

I must’ve been crying in my sleep…
He heard me, reached out for me and instead of waking me up; he took me in his arms.
My tears and fears subsided to the warmth and comfort of his embrace.
When I opened my eyes I was exactly where I was in my dream:
Safe in his arms.

Over Inspired

Photosource: Bresson

Write Sunshine!
I'm the first to recognize that lately I've been neglecting my column… not because I've reached some kind of writer’s block: on the contraire! My problem is the fact that there's so much going through my mind that I don't know where to grab.

Write something! Anything
What? When all that matters is the sentiment and anyone that's ever been in love will know what I'm feeling.

Write about the feeling!
How? When it's so abstract that no amount of adjectives do it justice? Why attempt to explain something that needs no explanation?
More important that writing about great moments is living them but when it comes to love, the most trivial of moments gain significance and only those who have ever loved will know…

Know what?...
The security and belonging felt when he holds your hand…
The small leap of joy when his name appears on the call display…
The vibrating sound of your name on his lips…
The warmth felt from his smile…

And that's just the tip of the iceberg…
Because he’ll wait in the rain with an umbrella for you;
Get in a little later just to spend more time with you in the morning;
He’ll e-mail you in the middle of the afternoon;
He’ll drive 80km just to be with you.

And the things he says are more than just words…
It's the way he looks at you before telling you that you're beautiful;
The messages he sends you, telling you how you make him feel;
His choice of words when he introduces you to his friends;
The split second before and after he tells you that he loves you.

Moments.
Too special, too precious to attempt a description.
Intensely so that I lose my capacity of expression…
Because what comes from the heart has a universal language that is felt but not written.
It's there somewhere between my heart, my smile and the twinkle in my eye.

It Keeps Filling Up...

Photosource: Unknown

They say that there are moments your heart is so filled with love that it overflows…
He pointed to me from the crystal blue pool and although my ears couldn't hear him, my heart heard him say to the person next to him:
“There she is; that's the one…”
That was my moment.

Cupid Wins the Fight

There's only so much taunting the little guy can take!
Want to become a nun huh?
Three weeks ago in front of a Monastery the little guy hit me with every arrow he had in his bag.
Dizzy from the arrow’s poison, at first I didn't realize I got shot!
One minute I was scratching a cute rottweiler´s ears and the next moment I was scratching her owner’s ears!
Who do I want again?
I was my eyes were set on one person but now they only see another!
That's it!
Five minutes and the stubborn Taurus is going back to where he came from!
Oohhh… but that woozy feeling in my stomach…
The poison’s effect takes me over and I find myself wanting…
Nah! I can fight this… nothing that rationality can't mess up…
But then there were roses… and candles…
And a sweet surrender…

Three weeks later I'm still basking in the aftermath of defeat...

Changes

Photosource: Unknown

Sometimes things happen so fast that you find yourself miles away from where you were just days before.
Life is like that…
You find yourself walking the same dirt road for what seems like an endless voyage. Some or other voyager passes you by but the scenery seems to stay the same and you lose hope of finding anything different on your path.
You blink… sigh or close your eyes for just moments and in a flutter of eyelids you're somewhere completely new.
The sounds and smells are different… The colours are more intense…
And the more you see, the more you want to know and get to know…
The world tastes sweeter…
Your heart beats stronger…
All because there's another set of eyes reflected in the mirror that tell you that you're no longer walking alone.

He's here…
In my life and in my dreams and in my plans…
And suddenly my course takes a whole new meaning.
Because I want him here with me, because I want to be where he is
Because I want us to do it together.
And it scares me to death.
To have his heart in my hands…
To place my heart in his…
To know that there's no getting out of this unhurt.
And nothing is worth more…
And nothing else matters.

If this isn't love, I don't know what is.
I don't know where I'm going or where I want to be…
But I know who I want to be with.
I don't know how long this will last; I don't know our expiry date…
But I know that today we make each other happy.
Need I know more?

In the darkness he reaches out for me and pulls me close and I fall asleep to the sound of his heart beating.
Why suffer the anticipation when you can savour the moment instead?
I woke up this morning and he was still there…
I wasn't scared…
I didn't feel like running…
Here is where I want to be.

Shower For Two

Photosource: Unknown

One learns patience from anticipation…
To control hidden fears with a deep breath, the kind that causes you to close your eyes for the brief seconds that it takes to have your shirt lifted over your head.
Awareness…
Of the sound of hot water running, the feel of anxious flesh and the sensation of irregular breathing that gives away the uneasy expectations…

You slip past the curtain into the steam, well aware of the warm body that follows and brace yourself for that first jet of water, conscious of the eyes that watch you as you take that first plunge under the warm water…
Pulling him towards you become aware of every inch of your body… it responds… to the water, to him to the heat in a wet kiss oblivious to the stray strands of hair in between.
The water is warm… but your body still shivers deliciously and you attempt to control your desires to concentrate on the task at hand…

How does it feel?
To watch the shampoo be poured into a hand that is not your own… rubbed together with its partner which attacks your scalp with a sensual massage.
Fingers ensure that every strand of hair is soaped before rinsing it off under the warm water.

The body convokes self-control as the eyes catch a glimpse of the bath gel being poured onto the sponge…
You brace yourself for the sweet torture of being scrubbed…
At first you watch as the sponge travels down your body leaving a sweet smelling lather in its path until eventually, you close your eyes and attempt to imagine the path it will take…
It doesn't matter though… all paths feel good, all paths will take it past curves and contours before reaching your toes…
Around your toes…between your toes.

To press your soapy self against a warm body, to feel it take in a deep breath and rub itself against you… to sense the loss of control at bay and know that in front of you someone fights the same battle…
To give in… To give out…
To take longer in the shower than you normally would.

You can't help the bittersweet disappointment when all is clean and the water is turned off… you close your eyes and acknowledge the radiant energy pouring from your skin… seconds before your mind prepares you for being dried with a fluffy towel and the sweetest smile of the face of someone who wants you.