Friday, June 08, 2007

Precious Illusions

Photosource: Unknown

Recently I had a conversation with my boyfriend in which I found out that a mutual friend of ours had the opinion that our relationship wouldn’t last.
The opinion in itself didn't bother me, after all, we’re all entitled to our own opinion and only time proves us right or wrong.
What did bother me, were his motives.
“She’s just not Barbie enough”
Considering some of the life decisions he makes, the comment shouldn’t surprise me, but it saddens me that someone who wants to be loved, can be so superficial.
If all a person is, is their body I imagine that the satisfaction doesn’t go beyond the orgasm and public envy.
That some people can’t scratch beyond the surface.
They go through all the books with the pretty dustcovers, some barely reading them while the people around them find brilliant stories in the simple covers. Then they can’t understand why in the same library they can't find good stories themselves.
That a woman is so much more than her measurements... but you’ll only know if you bother to find out, it takes getting to know a person.

Beauty doesn't guarantee a sense of humour, creativeness, intelligence…
Beauty doesn’t guarantee joy, laughter and good discussions…
Beauty doesn’t guarantee sensuality, erotic intensity and desire…
Beauty doesn’t guarantee tenderness, thoughtfulness and comprehension…
Beauty doesn’t guarantee Love.

I know of the reasons my man stays by my side and I’m grateful our friend doesn’t understand them, it would only be one more reason for him to feel regret.
What does he see that you don't? Its best you don't know.

I find that people talk more of the person they’d like to be than of the person they really are and that potential doesn’t weigh much on the scales of today and now.
Keep trusting your eyes instead of your heart in the desert and you may never find the oasis you’re looking for.

You’re sorry and I’m sorry.


Brisky said...

My friend, don't even bother thinking what's the point... You know most guys (young) only sees that, no point trying to change their minds, time and experience will do that.

We all go through that, that's just the old story od the prince vs wolf. :)

Keep it smart & simple. ;)

Big^10 kiss.

Luis Sardinha said...

I understand my friends because I was just like them, until meet you...

After that point in my life I see that a Barbie is like a fast car, I love to see it, even to walk around and feel how fast it is but I don't want do keep it because is to costly and don't satisfy me totally in a ordinary day...

I had a "Barbie" but now I prefer someone, intelligent, confident and other things... :)

I love you, you are my sunshine, my sunset and my beautiful moonlight.

Storm said...

That friend of yours either doesnt know you or isnt your friend.
Dont get what you apologised to him for?

DRC said...

Well, in this particular case, maybe the guy is "just" jeaulous of the time you both are not with him :) (this said in a positive way if there's one)

In general, I do agree with, and if examples were needed, we just have to see our job location, the number of opinions or stories opinions told caused only by images.

A friend ;P said...

Thank God your not a Barbie!! They don't exist!! So it's a complement!

Does he know what a Barbie is?!?
Because I think that he, personally, is getting Cindy's... You know, the one's from the chinese store!! Lowsy hear, one eye bigger than the other, and a leg smaller than the other (and the shoes don't come out).

The guy can't stand the idea that others are having sex and having fun!! And he isn't!!! Eheheh

Do you think he's looking for a Ken or GIJoe! Hummm!! You never know these days...

unresigned said...

Beauty doesn't guarantee a sense of humour, creativeness, intelligence…
Beauty doesn’t guarantee joy, laughter and good discussions…
Beauty doesn’t guarantee sensuality, erotic intensity and desire…
Beauty doesn’t guarantee tenderness, thoughtfulness and comprehension…
Beauty doesn’t guarantee Love.

Sem dúvida. Tal como o contrário é igualmente verdade, o estigma funciona para os dois lados. Há quem pense que quem tem bom aspecto seja superficial, etc.

Both ideas are just wrong!

Don't mind the empty spirits, that's my advise and i follow it.

mr said...

A beleza é efêmera, tal como tudo o resto que é superficial!


Sunshine said...

Brisky: The person in question can´t blame his superficiality on his youth, he has enough experience to know better. I suppose he gets exactly what he looks for, it doesnt seem to be making him all that happy though.
I quit trying to save the world a long time ago, nowadays I stick to just trying to save those that want to be saved.

Luis Sardinha: Love me for everything that I am and I´ll be yours for always.

Storm: It´s a mutual apology used when two people don´t agree but respect each other´s opinions. =)

DRC: If he is jealous, I believe that it´s because he hasn´t got what my man and I find in each other... sometimes we just can´t find what we´re looking for. My wish is that he finds someone, Barbie or not, that makes him happy. I´m sure it will be enough to get him to understand the basic concept of Love.
As for the misconceptions and the examples that come from our workplace: No Comments.

A Friend: LOL!!! You don´t always get what you bargain for but as Sheryl Crow wisely sings: "It´s not having what you want, it´s wanting what you´ve got".

Unresigned: Without a doubt there are beautiful women out with uncalculable talent and capacities. But I´m willing to bet that unless their career is being a top model, no woman wants to be judged on account of her measurements & beauty. A woman is so much than her surface, she should be appreciated for everything that she is and capable of.

Mr: A única beleza que é retida pelo tempo é aquela que não se vê com o olho nu.

unresigned said...

exactly! no matter what you look like fromt the outside, people should be interested for what's inside!that's my point, and yours.

ღ Soph!a ღ said...

Espero q esta relação dure para sempre...encontrar alguém que nos ame..é mais do q ganhar o euromilhõ amor, sentimo-nos felizes, de bem com a vida...sorrimos...brincamos...somos seres melhores...damo-nos..entregamos o nosso melhor...fazemos td por essa pessoa...e só pq a amamos...não pq ela é bonita...uma Barbie ou isso é superficial e sem sentido,o que n compreendo, é quem ainda esteja com alguém só pela beleza...

Até sentia-me a pessoa mais feliz do mundo...n sou rica, n sou bonita nem tenho um corpo perfeito...mas no meu interior, tenho o meu melhor...mas,hoje...tou triste cm à mto tempo n me sentia...pq até ontem, havia alguém a quem podia dizer: gosto de ti..adoro-te,tenho saudades tuas...e agora n tenho...agora, sou só eu...mas é assim a vida...

por isso, aproveita cd momento...sê mto feliz, e nunca dês ouvidos aos q os outros te dizem..ouve o teu coração...e deixa andar...



ZezinhoMota said...

Se formos impressionáveis com aquilo que os outros dizem, ou o que pensam de nós jamais poderemos sermos felizes.

Que te olhes ao espelho e tudo aquilo que o espelho te mostrar seja tudo aquilo que pensas de ti mesmo.Ou seja; que te amas a ti mesmo e tudo o resto é paisagem!

Que sejas feliz.

Vou voltar.

Bom resto de domingo.


Merchi said...

... beauty doesnt last forever ... true beauty is to be able to say "I love you" with a smile or a simple look ... that´s what counts.

Marco said...

Conheci uma pessoa que, para perguntas/diálogos a raiar o limite da parvoíce, como o que tiveste com o teu "amigo", tinha uma resposta pronta. Se por acaso lhe perguntassem algo menos próprio respondia: "epá... não... mas dou grandes quecas". O assunto não tem nada a ver com beleza ou com sexo, mas o meu conselho é que em situações futuras, respondam em uníssono: "não, mas damos grandes quecas". A perguntas parvas, respostas idiotas.

Sunshine said...

Unresigned: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you love someone, they´ll always be beautiful to you regardless of their appearance.

Sophia: Não sejas triste por ter terminado, sê feliz por ter acontecido. A ausência dessa pessoa é apenas o espaço necessário para te aparecer um grande amor.

ZezinhoMota: Não Podias ter maior razão! Mais importante do que a imagem que os outros têm de nós, é a imagem que temos de nós. Não é fácil deixar de nos influenciar, ou sentirmos magoados pelas opiniões dos outros... mas são apenas a perspectiva deles, pois sei que o meu homem me acha linda, e se ela acha que sou linda não tenho que me preocupar com as definições de beleza ou medidas do amigo.

Merchi: Beauty fades, so there had better be something special left behind in order to maintain the magic glue that keeps two people together.
As for beauty in a smile or a look - it´s good to know you know where to look ;)

Marco: Boa Resposta! Hehehe... Embora infelizmente creio que foi a conclusão que a pessoa chegou por falta de compreensão... Um dia espero que perceba que é mais que isso. =)

Klatuu o embuçado said...

I'm sorry too! :)=

P. S. Nunca mais te afinas com a Língua Portuguesa... estás a precisar de um curso intensivo de Verão! :)=

Dark kiss.

Klatuu o embuçado said...

P. P. S. Não dês «grandes quecas»... dá BOAS quecas! JAJAJAJAJA!!!

[Private: Só tu és culpada dos teus «males de coração»... tens que diminuir no charme! :)= ]

Soph!a said...

wow...adorei esta frase: Beauty fades, so there had better be something special left behind in order to maintain the magic glue that keeps two people together.
As for beauty in a smile or a look - it´s good to know you know where to look ;)

É cm digo...."ler-te" é bom... ;)

Klatuu o embuçado said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

hoe largo a sombra querida amiga....
Tenho-te visitado sempre ao longo destes dias envolto no silencio...
Hoje deixo-te um beijo melhor e mais vivo...

Há uma promessa no Interior que vim pagar!
Passa por lá!


nflopes said...

Há um proverbio que diz:
Se podes olhar, vê. Se podes ver, repara!

Agora... falar todos podem conseguir concretizar já não é para todos, até porque cada um tem o seu próprio modo de viver as coisas e ver o mundo, logo todos temos o direito a ter opinião própria acerca do que quer que seja.
O que me leva a 3 pontos...

o primeiro que tempos de saber o que somos, e assumir o que somos, pois assim podem dizer o que quiserem, do "eu", mas como o eu sabe o que é de facto, isso não o afecta enquanto personalidade, personalidade essa que so tem a crescer e enriquecer e aprender com as opiniões externas, consolidando-se assim, e ficando mais consciente do seu impacto nos "outros" e sabendo o que esperar de cada outro.

Em segundo, e como já referi acima, cada "eu" vivência a mesma situação ou experiência de uma forma absolutamente impar, por todas as condicionantes que "possam" imaginar, logo, dai advém o a opinião diferente.

Em terceiro... no decorrer da leitura das respostas reparei numa parte que diz que um coment foi eliminado pelo admin... não quero saber o que era, so tu tens de saber "pintelha" mas espero sinceramente que nao fosse uma opinião que pura e simplesmente não tenhas gostado de...(quero acreditar que não), mas serve esta parte para mostrar o outro lado do "se podes olhar vê. Se podes ver, repara.", é que nem sempre queremos ver algumas coisas muito menos reparar mesmo, e muitas vezes vemos e não repara-mos no que são, dá para muitos lados, lá está, cada um "leva para o que quiser" é uma questão de interpretação!

Jokas e td de bom para ti e para o teu amor! Vivam a vida que se vos apresente, não fiquem reféns do que o mundo pensa acerca do que só vocês podem saber de facto!

Bem haja!

Sunshine said...

Klatuu: Então não é que faço mesmo intenção de fazer um curso intensivo da lingua portuguesa este Verão... =P Mas acho que não vai ajudar a minha escrita grande coisa! =P

Sophia: Bigada amiga, também adoro ler-te! Embora não o tenho feito recentemente.

Paulo Santos: Oi! Já tinha saudades tuas amigo... tenho dar uma voltinha por os teus lados para por a escrita em dia ;)

Nflopes: Até parece que não me conheces. Eu não apago comentários. Nunca limitei a opinião de ninguém e se não concordar com ela eu simplesmente respondo com a resposta que acho justa a o que foi dito... quem apagou foi a própria pessoa que comentou que mandou-me um mail depois a explicar porquê... curioso? Temos pena! :P

Anonymous said...

Priorities… something that most people have, and they don’t have to coincide with other people’s. Your opinions about love, romance, dignity, character and so forth, are well known. And we know them from your own words.

One thing is our personal interpretation of reality, another is reality itself. Each person has his own interpretation, to witch they are entitled, as well as their own personal priorities. This is, as far as my interpretation allows me, the way of the world.

Just like it’s nothing else than vanity to force onto others our religious beliefs, it’s also vanity to force others into the way we see and enjoy life. Also, it might be vanity (or loneliness) to force others to grow up the same way we did, and with the same set of values.

Is it so wrong that someone doesn’t value people’s inner qualities? It might affect that person’s deepness, and he or she might not accomplish some things like to be loved… or not. Because you see, love can be a one way street, and (stop nodding your head) I’m sure you know some of this cases. True, that’s a perfect way for one party to feel just fine and the other to suffer, but it’s a possibility. Never mind the suffering part now, that’s another subject. And forget about rights, some people abuse the rights they have and step onto others without the twitch of an eye.

Both men and women can (and some do), have a pet person for girl or boyfriend. It seems that you have a dog now. Why chose one with breed? Why not a stray mutt? It would probably be much more thankful for being removed from the streets, being well fed and taken care of. So, why a rottweiller? It’s not criticism, I’m just trying to make my point here.

The first thing that you usually get to know about someone is if the looks are good or not. You haven’t got a clue about the character, personality, good humor… As far as the senses, the eyes are first come, first served.

It might be that for someone, it’s terribly important to have a mate that doesn’t just look good. It must be of stunning beauty. After, you can look for other qualities, and if you feel satisfied, something can come about. But if the looks aren’t there, why bother?

Fortunately for the less than physically perfect rest of us, a lot of people don’t care as much for looks, although some importance is placed in that field.

It might just be that someone like that will hurt in loneliness, maybe even one day crash and burn, but it’s all a part of the growing process. Live and let die. When it comes to matters of the heart, share your opinions when asked for, without feeling frustrated if others don’t share your point of view and take it easy with those that still have a path to find in life. Sometimes it’s a bigger act of love to let others bang their head on the wall than to scream your head off to deaf hears.

Sunshine said...

Anonymous: I felt like screaming! I felt like knocking some sense into him! Not because I felt I had something to gain but because as a friend he´s someone I care about.
If superficial beauty was enough to make him happy, I wouldn´t bother but to put in question what makes his friend happy is pure selfishness.
And as a woman, a human being and author to this blog - I reserve my right to vent!