Friday, October 10, 2003

The Imperfection Disease.

Science argues that what makes us different to animals is our ability to rationalize. An animal when faced with any kind of decision, will react by instinct. When it´s provoked it will attack, when it´s scared it will run, when it´s hungry it will hunt... animals act on instinct whilst human beings were given the power of decision. What gives man power over the animal kingdom is the power of decision. Scientifically speaking, that would make us perfect beings. Because if we are a species that can tell the difference between right and wrong and have the ability to rationalise then we have all that it takes to create the perfect environment... so what is it that goes wrong?

Greed, lust, hate, hurt and anger are but just a few of the reasons that things go wrong. But why does an intelligent being allow these emotions to make bad decisions? Perhaps it´s easier to take a closer look at what causes the above emotions. Any psychologist will tell you that a negative emotion is a secondary emotion. For instance a greedy person is driven by their love of whatever it is that their system craves. Lust can be argued in the same way, it´s a shallow form of love. He who lusts is loving the physical being of a person (rather than the person themselves). This reverts us to that age old saying that Love makes the world go round.

You won´t find one person who hasn´t made a bad decision in the name of love! It´s a euphoric feeling that somehow overrides our systems and takes away our ability to rationalize. Like a computer virus it catches you unaware and even when you do become aware and realise that the decision you´re about to make is wrong, somehow your system is overrun and big damages are caused before you manage to control your senses. A virus, a disease, love is as common as the cold and yet some people never get to feel it´s true effect. There are those who have and we call them survivors. Although love is a teacher it is also responsible for many deaths of souls who simply couldn´t handle the devastation love brought into their lives.

When love runs smoothly then heaven becomes a place on earth but when love ends then suddenly all the world loses it´s colour and hope dies along with the relationship. The worst kind of love is the kind that isn´t reciprocated. Anyone that´s ever been in love without being loved in return will tell you that it takes strength the size of mountains to recuperate from such an ordeal.

I came across one such sad case that left me more than just touched. For confidentiality´s sake let´s create two names... Casey and Nick. Casey and Nick met at a group event and had been friends ever since. With time they saw more and more of each other and before Casey knew it, she developed stronger feelings for Nick. Unfortunetely for Casey, Nick didn´t feel the same way and when he found himself a girlfriend, she suddenly found herself being torn apart. Although they promised to preserve the friendship, they suddenly they saw less and less of each other and conversation somehow shortened. Nick avoided talking about his girlfriend for obvious reasons and Casey also couldn´t share the turmoil she was going through because of him.

Rationally looking at this situation, there shouldn´t be a problem... Casey could just accept that Nick has a girlfriend and isn´t interested in her, they would once return to sharing their lives with each other and they could all be friends... yet as much as all parties involved want this to happen, this isn´t the reality being created. Casey isn´t the kind of girl that lives upon illusions and anyone that knows her will tell you that she´s one of the most rational and intelligent people you´ll ever meet. So why can´t she simply end the attraction she has for Nick? Her system is overrun with that disease that she can´t control and no matter how hard she tries she can´t help hurt everytime he mentions his girlfriend´s name. Although they remain friends, a special part of their friendship has been left behind in memory lane. No matter how hard they try they somehow can´t seem to return to the safety of their old frienship. Nick no longer has the courage to ask Casey for one of her famous massages and Casey avoids touching or looking too long at Nick, afraid that he might see feelings that she hasn´t managed to quite get rid of yet. Not too long ago this was proven in a car ride, Nick had been coughing thanks to a cold that he´d picked up and Casey who was sitting next to had to restrain herself not to rub his back like instinct wanted her to do. You could argue that there´s nothing wrong with rubbing your friends back to relieve their cough and Casey wouldn´t have thought twice about it if there was any other friend sitting next to her but emotions and fear kept her from doing it. Afraid that he might take her reaction as prove of her emotions and most importantly, fear that emotions she had already surpressed could surface and make it even more difficult for her to drown completely.

Casey and Nick´s case is a sad one, they might never return to the more open and honest friendship they had while Casey still walks around with this disease. Only time will tell what destiny awaits their destiny. Another victim of the worst disease known to mankind... no one can tell how long it lasts or how much damage it can cause and no one is immune. It is the cause of bad decisions over generations behind us and many more generations to come. A timeless disease that doesn´t chose race, colour or religion. A disease that makes us different from animals, it steals our power to rationalise... it makes us imperfect, it makes us human beings.

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