Thursday, March 24, 2005

Catching a Glimpse

Catching a Glimpse...

Beware of the quiet shy ones… you never know what it is that they’re really thinking. Why are women mislead into believing that the quiet men are the faithful and dependable kind? This of course works both ways. Why do men think that the quiet and shy girls are the kind that you marry or take home to meet your family?

Whilst loudmouths don’t always share what they’re truly feeling, you however always get a good idea of what and how they think by what they tell you. In this way, you can have a more solid feel of where you stand with them. With time, you learn to listen to what they don’t tell you, or the meaning behind the words that pronounce a different meaning. However, their opinions are easier to discover than of that one that tells you nothing.

But the quiet guy is different, not only is it hard to extract any kind of information from him, you’re always left with the sensation that he didn’t finish what he had to say, as if he thinks more than he’s willing to tell you. Some women find this attractive; in fact, some are even willing to get married just to find out what he was thinking… some of course never find out.

I find that people cannot be understood merely by what they tell or don’t tell you. It isn’t always the words or lack of that defines the person you’re looking at. The soul lies in the hidden depths of the person, its window is the eyes and its nature takes observation and the desire to know and understand to be recognized and understood.

Being inquisitive… and flirty. I enjoy the challenge of getting under someone’s skin… of finding out what makes them tick and pressing their buttons. I find that the best way to get a talker to tell you something serious is to present him with silence. He’ll want to fill that void so badly, that he’ll have to dig somewhere more sincere to respond. Try it with someone you know… most blabbermouths can’t handle silence. They’ll be singing like canaries eventually.

Silence doesn’t work on the quiet types… they know how to manage the quiet. In fact, they live off it. You’ll see them as the observers at corners at a party, or the listeners in a group conversation. You mostly get straight, short answers to the questions you face them with or stuttering if it’s a question they weren’t expecting. It takes some observation from your part to find out something that makes them tick and then drop the open question that gets them talking: example:
“Oh you like fishing! So tell… how can one include fishing on the perfect date?”…
This of course might lead to a long tedious explanation on which case, I advise to find a common interest before engaging in such an experiment!

I see him almost everyday. Belonging to a big company that often does business with us, he is sent almost everyday to take and fetch documents and contracts. Quiet and reserved, I’ve been tempted in the last two years to rock his shy boat by asking him how his weekend was or if he’d happened to catch that latest movie. He can’t be younger than twenty however he reminds me of a shy church choir boy at the way he drops his glance to avoid my questions. Some may call my attentions cruel for my personal amusement or even as flirtatious… I do confess that it is quite amusing to see him blush or avoid my questions. However, neither are my intentions, lets just say I’m pushing buttons until I press something right. It was on a day that I wasn’t attentive that I was caught off guard to a reaction! This week being left alone in the office for a morning, I smiled as he walked through the door and then complained that I’d been abandoned by my colleagues! I’m not sure which of his remarks surprised me the most, the fact that he answered me that I couldn’t possibly be alone now that he’d arrived or that he’d willingly stay and keep me company if he could. This was my turn to turn bright pink! One sweet smile from someone who could barely look me in the eyes told me that somewhere along the line I broke a barrier. A barrier called professionalism between strangers. Looking each other in the eyes, I confirmed that feeling and sensed that from now on, he would be a little less formal. After he left I sat in wonder, trying to capture the exact moment that I’d gotten through to him and then was pleased with the fact that I’d seen his smile for the first time!... Mission Accomplished? Hell no! I’m only getting started… next week I’m going to see if I can get him to crack a joke!

Never give up on someone! Sometimes we see the potential in people but we give up on them too soon. Believe! Believe in people as you wish them to believe in you. This doesn’t require you to go give the best of yourself; it simply requests you to share the good in you. A smile and a greeting are such simple gestures that go such a long way… try it out on someone until something good happens.

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