Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Players and Pawns
Con Artists – People specialised in manipulating one’s thoughts and actions with ulterior intentions other than those displayed, often of the ambitious of malicious nature.
In a nutshell, these are bullshitters that sweet-talk you because there’s something you can provide that they want. And while it can be argued that everyone wants something, these clever buggers have it down to an art to the point where you find yourself wanting to give it to them! – In extreme cases on a silver platter with a thank-you card!
These slick manipulators evolve like a virus- Just when you think you’ve seen it all and found the antivirus; another one comes out and attacks at a different angle.
How to spot a con artist? It would be great if they could wear a sign around their necks saying “use and abuse – you’ll thank me afterwards”. Perhaps a better sign would be “What can you for me?” or “You owe me a living” and even “I’ll tell it the way you want to hear it” can fit the description of this character.
Unfortunately, these experts are disguised as the ideal person and often described as gifts from God.
But before you decide to put everyone you know through light detector tests (which are pretty useless considering that this professionals specialise at lying with no conscience and therefore apt to pass any polygraph test without blinking) – I do suggest some of the visible warning signs that may or may not indicate that you’re about to hand over the gold to the thief…
- PERFECT IDEAL: If it looks and sounds too good to be true – it probably is!
- UNSELFISH LISTENER: When it seems like he’s overly interested in getting to know what you think it’s because he’s taking notes to feed you what you want to hear.
- TWIN SOULS: It’s so amazing that two people have the exact same interests! There’s nothing the one does that the other doesn’t like?! Soulmates?!! Even Oprah wouldn’t be fooled there!
- MR FIX IT WITH SOLUTIONS: He has the answer for everything and he’s offering to help before you even ask – ever bother to ask how he expects to be paid back and with what interest?
- VICTIM IN NEED: You’ve never met someone who’s had such bad luck in their lives and you’re the most understanding person they’ve ever met with the exact advice and solutions that they need – Don’t these people have friends or families? Perhaps you should suggest them a therapist before you become their reason for living.
Endless promises, constant phone calls, thoughtful gestures – they’re of them with the intention to create your dependency into giving them what they want in order to keep them around to satisfy the need that they’ve created and only they can fulfil. These artists have the sole intention of getting what they want by using the most fragile human weakness – emotions. They’ll play them with patience and consciousness that only an artist has.
But before you go tune up your radars and become superstitious of every Tom, Dick and Harry that smiles your way. Remember that the lesson lies in the fact that things and people are not always what they seem, and that if you want to know someone, you have to risk letting them get to know you too. Every person deserves an opportunity and time is a bullshitter´s worst enemy…
How many players have you been played by in your life? Are you currently a piece in someone’s game? Does the player know that you can see him for what he is? Have you unravelled his goals? What are the rules and the stakes? To play or not to play… That question is a whole other column on its own!