When is it the right time to surrender ourselves to our partners?
Is there a right time at all?...
Recently I watched as a friend clung desperately to the notion that she did not want to give her heart away. Regardless of the countless reasons such as timing or fear of getting hurt that exist to motivate such a decision; I calmly brought to light to reason that none of us have much choice in who we fall in love with and our only true power of decision lies in:
"What am I going to do about it?"
Everybody wants it, we all do it, it is around us wherever we go and although we feel it, we cannot touch or own it: Love.
It rules the world, it rules our emotions and anyone who´s ever been in love will tell you that it is about as predictalbe and controllable as the weather. One day you´re wondering how a person suddenly appeared in your life and the next day you can´t imagine your life without them. One in love, you´re only left with two choices:
Either ignore it or pursue it.
Despite the heartache at risk, my advice to those who seek it is to always take the chance. We regret more the things that we don´t do and say than those that we risk and explore.
But although the decisions regarding love may seem simple, our heart lacks the vision that our brains possess resulting in the kind of turmoil you wouldn´t wish on your worst enemy. Many can tell you of the drama and scars involved in falling in love with the wrong person.
Maintaining the conviction to my beliefs, I noneless urge that love is the risk worth taking due to the immeasurable amount of joy it entails. Always look for the diamond in the rough.
However, if after digging in the dirt you come to the conclusion that there couldn´t possible exist anything precious hidden in the filth, take the same courage to override your heart´s obsession.
We elude ourselves because the soul is proud and the heart is stubborn, but at some point our intelligence must intervene to ensure our survival...
What if you can´t tell if the wolf is real or if there´s a man hiding beneath the costume? Is what you see no more than sheep´s clothing or has someone bared you their soul?
What if you reach a point where nothing but fear stands between you and the surrending of your heart (body, soul... and everything else surrender may entail).
When you run out of reasons to keep from surrendering but you´re still scared which factors do you depend on to make your final decision?
Those who know they´re in love know it regardless whether they deny it - unless they´ve denied it to a point that they doubt it.
How to be sure if you´re truly in love?
And is love the sole requirement for surrender?
If I give up some to I have to give it all?
How much is too much?
Should we wait until we´re ready?
And how do you recognise the moment when you are?
These are the type of questions that ruin beautiful stories before they´ve even begun. As my English teacher once said: the best writing is not that which is carefully planned but that which sincerely flows into the unravelling of a story...
My dear friend: I cannot give you the answers to your questions; I can barely answer to my own doubts that often flood my head. The right words, right time and the moment to surrender surely must be the moment in which you do? The present moment in which you live and decide these things rather than analysing and predicting... when did things ever go as planned?
My advice is the only solution I myself rely on in times of doubt: stop thinking and simply be. Breathe and live the present, feel the moment and let time fill in all the blanks, quieten your doubts and answer all of your questions.