Thursday, August 10, 2006

The Odds

What I most love about talking to strangers in the exchange of perspectives and ideas that cultivate understanding or shapes your own.
In a discussion between three colleagues, we debated a theory that I rarely give much thought to.
I know what it is, I respect if for what it is and it makes little or no difference to my reality due to the fact that a person's sexual orientation has never affected my relationships.
I've been lucky enough so far to never have fallen in love with a man that's attracted to men. Although in my opinion, the motive of the rejection doesn’t make much difference in its weight.
If anything, I'd say that homosexuality is an easier reason to digest than any other.
In my female perspective, I reckon I'd feel less crushed when told that I wasn't desired due to my sex which I can do little or nothing about rather than the reasons that have the ability to cause doubts and insecurities about myself.

All of this I already considered with the exception of the very point we were debating. In one person’s opinion, it is probably easier for two gay men to attract one another and maintain a relationship than it is for two women. The arguments were:
1. Men have similar interests whilst women's interests are more varied. Two men would have few qualms in watching the same kind of movies or taking up the same sport. Most women can't even agree on the clothes they wear.
2. Men rationalize in a basic and objective way and therefore they don't vary much in opinions permitting an easier flow of communication. Whist women are very individualistic and strong defenders of their ideas.

We discussed more reasons in fine details however they all ended up falling under these two points.
As if men aren't scarce enough as is those that do exist have a tendency to choose each other. I recalled a documentary on the discovery channel that explained how there's a higher probability of a man being born with homosexual tendencies than a woman.
More bad news! That just narrows down the odds even more!

Facing all this information, a woman might as well fall into desperation if hoping to find a mate (welcome to the modern age crisis!)
At first I thought this was an exaggeration but at this point I'm one of those that have lost hope on finding a decent, single, secure, heterosexual man with similar interests that I'm able to feel the magic with.
Mission Impossible… there are better chances of winning the lottery!
It's searching for the extinct or praying for a miracle.

What does a man really offer more than a woman (forgetting of course the additional physical member which nowadays can be replaced with something that runs on batteries)
Nowadays women are handy with a screwdriver and what we can't do ourselves, we pay someone that can.
Our poor geographic orientation instincts are solved with maps or GPS.
Electric can openers, portable mini drills and instruction manuals… there's a replacement for every male utility you can think of!

What I most value from the opposite sex begins with a man's touch, that masculine touch and texture that has no substitution. It can be argued though that a woman has more sensibility and knowledge of the female body to better pleasure another woman. But I wouldn't trade the caress of a man for the caress of a woman in any circuimstance.
Then there's that male scent that no fragrance can imitate. Male perfumes can be sprayed on anyone or anything but there's a scent that is found on a man's neck, between his ear and his hairline that simply can't be fabricated!
And then there's a man's embrace…
No woman, friend or teddy bear can possibly replicated the comfort and security found in the arms of the man you're in love with.
It's heaven on earth when a woman let's go of all her defenses to surrender to the safety and the strength of her man's embrace.
I can't think of a moment when I feel more of a woman that in my man's arms.

But as a colleague of mine one argued: it's an emotional illusion! Like chocolate or ice cream. Everything in enjoying one feels right and healthy but just as men… their destination is your hips!
Is the momentary satisfaction worth the long term delusion?

I wonder…
The more that times passes, the more of certain of life's aspects such as love and healthy relationships seem to sound like fairytales or dinosaurs on the brink of extinction. Hope begins to fade even to those that believe… few people still do.
I've taken use of a colleague of mine’s words when speaking about a decent mate:
“… they exist, I just haven't met one.”

In a crowded restaurant, I dine alone and catch the glances of some good looking men. I sorely notice that Porto woman are more advantaged in relation to good looking men than the Lisbon women.
However, I wonder about how many of men in the restaurant are valid potentials.
Perhaps it's easier and even wiser to turn gay…

However the odds that weigh against or in favour of finding that special person, the way I see it, it's all question of fate and luck rather than of numbers or of scientific explanations.
It's a question of meeting the right kind of person at the right place, at the right time. And that is subjective to every individual regardless of their sexual orientation.
If you've found your partner and you're happy, raise your hands to the sky and consider yourself blessed…
If you haven’t then live your life as best your can on your own and good luck on finding that someone special.


Storm said...

LOL - If there´s a lack of men it´s only in Europe because in Africa even the gay guys have plenty to choose from.
You obviously need a South African bloke!

IceVsFire said...

primeiro lugra kero demostar o meu desagrado pela imagem serem dois gajos em vez de duas gajas patrocinadas pela mae natureza...
Kuanto a kestao da homosexualidade...olha k na e bem assim..ta provado k uma mulher tem 75% de hetero e 25% de homo e k ate ao fim das vida a apenas 10% de probabilidade de a a mulher nao ter pelo menos uma experiencia homosexual!!
About Storm history shows de only good things brought from africa was gems,gold and zoo pets..and sunshine but still shes half european..about having few man in europe..dont worry we are few but good...really good!!

Storm said...

icevsfire - no insult intended. There are good men everywhere. The fact that South Africa has a higher ratio of good men speaks for itself. Sunshine can confirm my statistic.

Quicha said...

I first want to say that I don't think that gay men would necessarily get along better than gay women... I have a gay guy friend and I see more or less the same problems, fears, insecurities, arguements that heterosexual relationships have, everyone is an individual.
Secondly, there are good guys out there, but sometimes women are too picky, relax a little ladies, men aren't perfect, neither are we.
Thirdly, there are good and there are not so good South African men out there, same goes for the Portuguese, but honestly I wouldn't recomend either... Brazlian men are the way to go! Haha! I speak for myself :-P

Anonymous said...

I agree that both gays and lesbians have insecurities although i have seen it more in male homosexuals than lesbians.I do not know why South african men are being targeted...any male has the potential to be all depends on the choices they make!(the same applies for women). Conclusion: Good guys can be found everywhere!!!!