Every now and then, you stop and reflect about life – the decisions you’ve made and where they’ve gotten you.
You ponder about the course that you’re on and you ask yourself if this is where you want to be and where you want to go.
Adolescence is supposed to be the hardest time in your life due to the fact that it’s a phase of discovery and choice. You try different things and test your limits in attempt to understand who you are and who you want to be. The fact that you have a world of possibilities leaves you with many choices to be made.
As time passes, you eliminate the things you know for sure that you don’t want in your life. Many opportunities have past you by and your choices begin to narrow as the choices you’ve made eliminate other possibilities you could’ve chosen.
As a teenager you learn that you can do just about anything you set your mind to.
As an adult, you learn that you can’t do everything your heart desires.
I’ve personally never felt so stable, sure of my decisions and my desires… and yet I question them.
Is it because it is human nature to unsatisfied?
As soon as we achieve our goals we quickly set new ones.
To stop wanting, to stop dreaming – it’s a sure death sentence to the human soul.
The way I see it, you will always wonder about the opportunities that you let go of in order to grab onto the decision you made with both hands.
Adults don’t know it all – we’re not always sure of ourselves and the path we’ve taken, we’ve simply learnt that while one will always wonder about the path we didn’t chose – the challenge is to embrace de decisions we’ve made in order to make peace with those that we didn’t.
I’m happy with the way I am, the course my life has taken and the future that I’m striving for but I will keep re-evaluating all these things in the attempt to be a better person,
a better lover,
a better companion,
a better sister,
a better daughter,
a better friend,
a better colleague,
a better stranger…
I believe we are all born to live our lives towards being better people.
A couple of years ago I met a good friend online who says I caught his attention with the following job description:
Back then I believed that this was the hardest, constant job each human being had.
I still believe that being myself will be my constant struggle until the day I die.
A mixture of excitement and expectancy is the way I feel about where I’m headed. Often I feel cold feet and a chill of fear travelling up and down my spine when I think about the responsibility I’ll have to take, scared that I may not be strong enough for the challenge. But love and faith keep me strong and willing.
Recently I found a beautiful passage in a neighbouring blog that I accompany:
My Silent Nights
The author had borrowed the text from someone else and to me it’s unclear if this other person is the true author. Nevertheless, it was so beautifully written that I could not help but translate:
I now understand that to live is to be free...
That fighting keeps you alive...
That to be happy you simply have to want to be...
I’ve learnt that time heals...
That hurt goes away...
That deception doesn’t kill...
That it is possible to cry without shedding tears...
That real friendship is lasting...
That pain makes you stronger...
That winning builds you up...
That words possess strength...
That the eyes don’t lie...
And that everything depends on will.