Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Right On Time

Right On Time


Lunch hour is that sacred time of the day where you can actually slow your mind and body down after a stressful morning. Saying grace before digging into my food, I asked God for the patience to understand my boss; colleagues and difficult clients
(Yes patience… because if I asked for strength, I’d beat up the offending people!). Imagining how I would stick and twist the long kebab stick into my colleague’s nose that had made me stand up to recheck his work fifteen times that morning, I almost didn’t notice the cheerful face of my other colleague sitting in front of me.
Deciding not to ruin our lunch by talking business I put my psychopathic thoughts of colleague torturing aside and asked my colleague to tell me the reason why her smile shone through much brighter these days… I guess I should’ve known, but the actual words gave me this column to write about:

Bouncing between forty and fifty, my colleague has immigrated twice, married and divorced once, survived cancer and the loss of her uterus resulting in the knowledge that she can never have kids. She’s also survived tens years of working for our company, being responsible for dozens of people who come in and out the company each year, acting as the chief voice and often a mother to the people she works with… and believe you me, putting up with my boss during this period deserves a golden award on its own! She’s no longer my manager but someone I continue calling “boss” lovingly, a mother to whom I can depend on for sincere advice, a colleague with wisdom and experience, someone I look up to, respect and most importantly… a friend I care very dearly about.

Being the incredible woman that she is; most people cannot comprehend why she’s been alone the last couple of years. There hasn’t been evidence of a blooming relationship since her divorce and those who don’t know her would think it had to do with some trauma due to her difficult track record. However, those that do know her know her to be a strong and courageous woman who simply won’t settle for second best and that alone defines her single status at her age. It’s not easy finding emotionally and financially stable men that are intelligent and available in that age level.
(Not that being younger actually provides a better market!). In one of the last conversations we had she put it the following terms:
“I don’t need a man to satisfy my needs, pay my bills or give me attention. I have a house, a car and every material possession I need and friends that I care about who share their time with me. What I seek for is merely a companion, someone to go on holiday with, have dinner and beside talk with and someone to share my moments. I don’t want to be anyone’s mother or saviour; I want to give what I seek: companionship”
Understanding her reasons as a reflection of my own, I realised and we agreed that it would be quite difficult and perhaps even impossible to find someone that fit that profile considering that even at my age; these types of men are extinct or gay. Not willing to settle for less, fate usually supplies a single passport.

But miracles happen when you least expect them and people hold the most amazing ability to surprise you and while I ate my food extra slowly, I listened as fate, love and life proved me wrong once again.

Close friends for over ten years, both married, and both divorced… they’re finally having dinner and taking walks together. Taking things slow and getting to know each other on another level…
A good friend of mine once said that a lasting relationship only happens after you’ve divorced. I imagine that these two would prove that theory right.
Listening at how loving and caring he’d been with her over the last couple of weeks, I marvelled at the energy, the love and the youth that omitted from her face. She laughed at herself telling me that she felt like a teenager, I laughed and told her that love keeps one young.
She seemed surprised that it had found her in the form of an old friend and I couldn’t help remembering the comment of a special friend of mine in an earlier column that said: “Find a friend that you’re attracted to and build on that.” Maybe he’s right after all… lasting love is something you discover in someone you already care deeply about.

Love with an expiry Date? Since when did love have a validation time limit? As my colleague said to me this afternoon: it finds you when you least expect it, and it turns the best of moments into an eternity.
What’s the use of living in heaven if there’s nobody else home?
There is never a right age or a right time for love.
There are those who wait for it and those who postpone it and love has a tendency to pass these people by.
Then there are those who live loving life and everything around them and love somehow finds them like a butterfly finds a garden to live in.
Don’t chase butterflies, if you take care of your garden: they come to you in the right season.

As I left the cafeteria at a calmer pace and in a better mood then when I’d gone in, I somehow had a little more faith in miracles. With a big smile on my face, I thanked God for answering my earlier prayer for patience and tried having a little faith that it would hold me through to the end of the day!


Brisky said...

That's right, I've one long lasting friendship with one of my X-girlfriend, and now she recons that we're bether friends now that we were then, the presure of commitment sucks, and I know how much. Since we broke up we passed better moments than when we were together, that's when I came to the idea I passed you. Go slow, and no commitment.
Guess it's like sex, go slowly and no commitment thus no barriers.

Big kiss.

Anonymous said...

No, you're wrong! Those type of men are not extinct neither are gay! I believe U know some that make a diference... just give them the right opportunities, and enough room... and You'll see...! maybe there are some around U and U didn't notice!

Elvio said...

Time Time Time... and Time again,
Sometimes we all need to take a moment and think about our family and friends, to realise how specail they are.
If not we tend to forget how much they love us, they are our insperation when needed, our light in a dark tunnel.

We all need to wait for our time to shine, as in most cases the person we find everlasting love with may walk past you everday,
Time, Time, Time, take a good look, and keep it, for you never know what tomorrow may bring. lifes a stepping stone, we just need to take the steps.

Chronis said...

This words remind me of someone I used to knew… And that I came back to know… After reborn…

One day, I learned the difference between being and having...
I learned that, for worse that is a problem or a situation, an exit always exists. I learned that it is wrong to run away from the difficulties. More early or later, it will be necessary to take off the rocks of the way to advance.
I learned that we lose time worrying about things that, many times only exist in our mind.
I learned that one day of rain is necessary, that so we give value to the Sun.
I learned that heroes are not those that had carried through workmanships notables, but the ones that had made what it was necessary and had assumed the consequences of their own acts.
I learned that valley the penalty not to become me indifferent the World and the people. Valley less the penalty, still, to make things to conquer attention crumbs.
I learned that it does not matter in how many pieces my heart already was broken. The World never stopped so that I could fix it.
I learned that, instead of being waiting somebody to bring me flowers, it’s better to built a garden.
I learned that to love doesn’t mean to transfer to others the responsibility to make me happy. The task fits me to bet in my talents and to carry through my dreams.
I learned that what makes the difference is not what I have in Life, but WHO I have.
I learned that people dearest can, to the times, to wound me... E perhaps not loves me in such a way how much I perhaps would like, but that doesn’t mean that they do not love me a lot, either the maximum that obtains. And this is most important.
I learned that all the change initiates a construction cycle, if you forget to leave the open door.
I learned that time is very precious and not return back. Therefore, valley the penalty not to rescue the past. What valley the penalty is to construct the future. And my future is still to come.
It was, then, that I learned that we must uncross the arms, to win the fear to try to leave behind the dreams. The life has value and I have value to the life ahead.

Luisa said...

Love comes in so many forms that it makes itself inpredictable. I fell in love with my best friend once... it was beautifull! I actually had forgoten the feeling, thank you sunshine for reminding me. It was really something very special but it was so long ago that my mind had lost track of it! Big kiss!

Laura said...

"We often spend so much time coping with problems along our path that we only have a dim or even inaccurate view of what's really important to us"
Peter Senge