Right On Time
Lunch hour is that sacred time of the day where you can actually slow your mind and body down after a stressful morning. Saying grace before digging into my food, I asked God for the patience to understand my boss; colleagues and difficult clients
(Yes patience… because if I asked for strength, I’d beat up the offending people!). Imagining how I would stick and twist the long kebab stick into my colleague’s nose that had made me stand up to recheck his work fifteen times that morning, I almost didn’t notice the cheerful face of my other colleague sitting in front of me.
Deciding not to ruin our lunch by talking business I put my psychopathic thoughts of colleague torturing aside and asked my colleague to tell me the reason why her smile shone through much brighter these days… I guess I should’ve known, but the actual words gave me this column to write about:
Bouncing between forty and fifty, my colleague has immigrated twice, married and divorced once, survived cancer and the loss of her uterus resulting in the knowledge that she can never have kids. She’s also survived tens years of working for our company, being responsible for dozens of people who come in and out the company each year, acting as the chief voice and often a mother to the people she works with… and believe you me, putting up with my boss during this period deserves a golden award on its own! She’s no longer my manager but someone I continue calling “boss” lovingly, a mother to whom I can depend on for sincere advice, a colleague with wisdom and experience, someone I look up to, respect and most importantly… a friend I care very dearly about.
Being the incredible woman that she is; most people cannot comprehend why she’s been alone the last couple of years. There hasn’t been evidence of a blooming relationship since her divorce and those who don’t know her would think it had to do with some trauma due to her difficult track record. However, those that do know her know her to be a strong and courageous woman who simply won’t settle for second best and that alone defines her single status at her age. It’s not easy finding emotionally and financially stable men that are intelligent and available in that age level.
(Not that being younger actually provides a better market!). In one of the last conversations we had she put it the following terms:
“I don’t need a man to satisfy my needs, pay my bills or give me attention. I have a house, a car and every material possession I need and friends that I care about who share their time with me. What I seek for is merely a companion, someone to go on holiday with, have dinner and beside talk with and someone to share my moments. I don’t want to be anyone’s mother or saviour; I want to give what I seek: companionship”
Understanding her reasons as a reflection of my own, I realised and we agreed that it would be quite difficult and perhaps even impossible to find someone that fit that profile considering that even at my age; these types of men are extinct or gay. Not willing to settle for less, fate usually supplies a single passport.
But miracles happen when you least expect them and people hold the most amazing ability to surprise you and while I ate my food extra slowly, I listened as fate, love and life proved me wrong once again.
Close friends for over ten years, both married, and both divorced… they’re finally having dinner and taking walks together. Taking things slow and getting to know each other on another level…
A good friend of mine once said that a lasting relationship only happens after you’ve divorced. I imagine that these two would prove that theory right.
Listening at how loving and caring he’d been with her over the last couple of weeks, I marvelled at the energy, the love and the youth that omitted from her face. She laughed at herself telling me that she felt like a teenager, I laughed and told her that love keeps one young.
She seemed surprised that it had found her in the form of an old friend and I couldn’t help remembering the comment of a special friend of mine in an earlier column that said: “Find a friend that you’re attracted to and build on that.” Maybe he’s right after all… lasting love is something you discover in someone you already care deeply about.
Love with an expiry Date? Since when did love have a validation time limit? As my colleague said to me this afternoon: it finds you when you least expect it, and it turns the best of moments into an eternity.
What’s the use of living in heaven if there’s nobody else home?
There is never a right age or a right time for love.
There are those who wait for it and those who postpone it and love has a tendency to pass these people by.
Then there are those who live loving life and everything around them and love somehow finds them like a butterfly finds a garden to live in.
Don’t chase butterflies, if you take care of your garden: they come to you in the right season.
As I left the cafeteria at a calmer pace and in a better mood then when I’d gone in, I somehow had a little more faith in miracles. With a big smile on my face, I thanked God for answering my earlier prayer for patience and tried having a little faith that it would hold me through to the end of the day!