Friday, July 08, 2005

Somebody Hold Me Back!!!

Somebody Hold Me Back!!!

carla.ornelas@gmail.com

I hate suppressing how I feel. I simply detest, loathe and despise holding back… It’s like squeezing a straight jacket around your spirit and demanding it to shrink.

But we can’t always express our emotions, and holding back becomes one of the essential virtues that go hand in hand with prudence and patience, and hence they key factors to maturity.

Those moments when I want to slam my foot, yell, shout and slap someone when the desire calls for it, are those that require most of my self-control. Self-control was one of those life lessons that took a little longer for someone like me to learn…
Controlling the basic desire to act upon my emotions is the equivalency of nailing myself to a wall with a gag on!
However, even though the battle with patience continues…with time I adopted the best hold-back-before-I-explode technique that works for me. It’s quite simple really, involving the procedure of counting to ten, taking a deep breath and then attacking with a diplomatic dose of intelligent argument.
Think quick – speak slowly and do it with a smile!
This technique brings about immense satisfaction when the opposing party is left speechless; however, there are always those opponents with more patience and experience than you (and a hell of a lot more stubborn!)… This very technique will backfire on someone like my boss who will either manipulate you in circles until you’re too confused to argue or exhaust you into submission! In these cases, I weigh my losses and often am forced to resort a cease-fire until I can figure out a way to make him see the light!

Everyday, sometimes all day… you’re forced to deal with people who push, pressure and squeeze your patience to the last drop. Those rude people who push in front of you in supermarket queues, those demanding clients that throw fits if you don’t attend to their needs immediately or even that friend that has once again called to talk about himself for half an hour. By the end of the day, most of us are beaten from the raw exertion of holding back our exact thoughts and emotions throughout the day.
Tense shoulders, throbbing headache and the desire to beat the living daylights out of a punching bag… all the makings of a foul mood… exhaustion reminded me that it hadn’t been an easy day and my sore body begged to drop down on my bed.

Staring at my front door whilst sliding in the key… I smiled to myself and decided to choose another emotion!!!

Strawberry bubble bath… cures all body aches leaving skin smooth and sweet smelling. If that isn’t delicious enough try adding Candles all over the bathroom while listening to Sting and sinking down in that warm water that makes you forget the reasons that got you frustrated in the first place…

Don’t anybody dare hold me back!!!!
When I’m singing in the bathtub, passing the soap over the contours of my body, in between my toes or at that moment when I can examine my face in the mirror to a candle lit background. There’s no way in hell I’m suppressing that tune in my voice, that intense moment as I sing into my toothbrush and declare my undying love to my shower curtain. That’s right… I allow my imagination and free will to take over as I dance around in my towel and ask my cupboard for advice on which underwear I should wear… This is of course two seconds before hitting an A minor with Alicia Key’s “If I ain´t got you”

Somebody hold me back!!!... Before the neighbours sign a petition to evict me!!!

If serenity comes from learning to channel your energies then it means that no emotion really gets lost or suppressed, it is simply expressed in a different way or postponed for another time.
No one can teach when to hold back your emotions or when to express them freely.
It takes practise and the wisdom of a mind that can think of the consequences before acting upon impulses.
Stubborn, opinionated and highly emotive, I recognise that some of the attributes that make up Sunshine don’t always make for the best of my behaviour.
Patience was never my best virtue.
Experience has taught me that the world, people and the moment isn’t always prepared for my thoughts or feelings… and so I often myself seeking the patience to hold my energy for the right moment… And hence the everlasting battle with time!
But when that moment does come around…

Don’t let anyone hold you back! Your true abilities and talents are discovered when you press your limits, dance on the edge and simply dare to cut loose and be yourself.
Lately I’ve been pondering that learning to free your desires is as important, if not more, than learning to suppress them!
You’re free to be happy and to be the person you want to be, at those moments that your heart and soul know to simply let go and express who you are.
And should you be caught in that web that forces you to be polite when the desire is to choke the moron causing the twitching in your temples… count to ten ,and take a deep breath and remember that half the fun is not surrendering control of your good senses!

3 comments:

Elvio said...

My Lord Supreme.
One thing I know for sure,
I can be truly happy
Only when You replace my anger
With forgiveness,
Then with compassion
And finally with oneness.

Sheara Camacho said...

Everyone gets uptight sometimes... angre, the worsed is when you can't hold it back and say/do things that later you regret!

Chronis said...

Oh, God... Everyday I wish to be able to do that... To hold back my emotions!
But I can’t, I’ve tried so many times to do it, without success!
Sometimes it’s good to be like this, other times it’s not and finish for being bad ‘cause I don’t know how to hide what I feel and, when less I wait, already I’ve said everything...
At last, nobody is perfect...
Got to live with it… And it’s not so bad :)