Sunday, July 31, 2005

The Replacement

The Replacement

carla.ornelas@gmail.com

It never quite ceases to amaze me how quickly some people are able to find replacements for others in their lives. One week you have a guy on his knees declaring his undying love for you and the next you see him with his arm around some girl making out as if she was his soul mate.
This isn’t to undermine these people; after all… life has a way of turning things around in a blink of an eye. Why shouldn’t it do the same with love?
However in my experience, I feel that love isn’t so easily forgotten or replaced… in fact, I believe true love is irreplaceable.
I believe that the heart is big enough to hold a thousand friends in every decimetre of its size but it has only room enough for one true love at a time. Sure, there are times when it may be confused but soon it learns that it only has space and strength to beat for one person and eventually someone falls into one of those chambers where special friends are kept: leaving room once again for only true love.
And should love be lost, dumped or left… the heart is left with a big empty space that no friendship, no matter how colourful it may be, can fill.
That however doesn’t keep people from trying to fill that void.
We so desperately feel the need to connect with another human being that any warmth we find in the hand that touches us can and will be interpreted as fire…
In the meantime… for the moment… for the evening… for the night… maybe longer...
Until one morning we wake up and realise that we still feel that void.
Kill love with love?
Yeah right!
How deep does the feeling go? How happy does it truly make you?... and most importantly, how long is it going to last before the illusion wears off and you need another replacement?
I’ve watched women kiss toads in a desperate attempt to find a prince charming; I’ve seen them waste their time and energy with guys that contribute nothing positive to their lives just so that they can say that they’re not alone…
I’ve watched the strongest of men embrace a plastic doll; grab onto the first skirt they see and flirt with the girl they’ll never take home to their mothers, just to keep their minds distracted from that emptiness in their hearts.

It’s so easy… so tempting and even natural to shiver at a warm touch, to respond to a sweet word and surrender to the desperate desire of filling an empty space in the heart… As a good friend of mine put it: if you join hunger to the will to eat you risk disastrous results! However once you’ve had your fill, eventually you won’t want to eat more… but did you eat what you really wanted?
You may wake up next to the face that you want to wake up every morning to, just as you may wake up preferring to chew your own arm off rather than waking that person next to you. It’s a Russian roulette of emotions, eventually… somebody gets hurt.

At four o’clock in the morning, I stood on a quiet veranda and looked out onto the stars.
Somewhere out there was I being replaced?
Sometimes, I too just want to feel the pleasure to forget the pain… it’s so easy to find a replacement.
I only fight it because I feel it is no more than a selfish attitude… why risk someone getting hurt for a few hours of pleasure if in the morning I’ll wake up still with an empty heart?

I believe that there are no replacements for love, only time can close the door to an empty room and make space in your heart for a new love.

9 comments:

IceVsFire said...

What the hell u were expecting...that he would spend the rest of his life begging on his knees wainting for ur love..come on life is too short...and who sid that is always about love...can be just desire,lust ...basically he couldbe trying to get laid....just because love takes a huge part of our lifes doesnt mean that our sexual instincts are put aside......even if some peole try to like u said "kill love with love"...its always much better than feel the pain slaughter slowly your heart while u think what can i do to conquer that girls heart.....the bigger mistake that every girl makes is take a guy in love for her for granted....
You should be happy for him...cos maybe even for a few moments he didnt have to think what was his mistake in his way to conquer your heart...
Live for the moment!!

Chronis said...

Ouch... How it ached to read these words of yours, my friend... You know I mean... It aches, it is truth, we just have to leave it ache, until the one day where the pain stops and we feel that we’re alive and that we are loved, either for friends or something more than this...
Why not leave always an empty space in our heart for those who loves us? Why not to learn to love who loves us?
I’m trying...

Anonymous said...

Your not alone how to get amazed when things happens. And it does it alot.

This is just strange...

Baileys said...

Never would have imagined it...Surprised? YES i am!!! What can i say... i´m speachless but yet so many thoughts going through my head! All i can say for now is that... it´s the begining of a new story and i´m going to read it till the end...

Anonymous said...

I know everybody was waiting for my comment. I guess I waited until I had a nice talk with the other part. So... Here it goes: We´re both adults and we both know what we are doing. We are definaly not killing love with love, or subsitituting anybody, at least I speak for myself, we are just putting our soren hearts toguether beacause, somehow there was some kind of quimistry between us. Blame me all you can, but I couldn´t help feeling what I felt, and I´m not gonna stop my life just because of someone that just doesn´t apreciate my love. Like chronis said: "Why not to learn to love who loves us?". I think she´s got a point in that, and I don´t even think I will have to learn it with this person, cause he´s a very speacial guy. I´m pretty sure it will come!"He´s got the mooves, he mooves me so much... he´s got... the... touch!" Know this song? The End!! NOSY PEOPLE!!!!!

Katie said...

Hey Carla, it's Katie...have to say, this column came at the right time. I've had that "wake up" moment in my dramatic relationship, where I realized that I was wanting to fill the void of my 2 year relationship ending, that I thought I found THE guy. He was so opposite...I thought it was perfect. Low and behold, I realized there's still something missing. The same something that was missing in my last relationship...now I'm back at square one, trying to figure out what it is I'm looking for.

So in a nutshell, I agree - you can't fill a void until you've gotten over it and moved on completely...it just doesn't work that way.

Take care sweetie. Hope to chat soon.

Anonymous said...

In add to my last remark I would like to specify that the "nosy peolple" part was not adressed to sunshine, and apologise for taking the comment too personal.
Putting myself out of the situation, I will leave my comment as the sensitive person you know I am:
True Love is an eternal thing, that never dies. You can run run from it, but you can´t hide. Normaly it hit´s you straight in the eye, and you get blinded by it for a long, long time. It invades your mind, your, body and your soul. Obviously you can´t kill love with love! We can try, but my experience tell me that it won´t work, or either substitute one persone with another ( they had to be perfect twins for that to work), so...
I accept your conccept of hurting until it goes away, but, the fact is... that it just won´t go. That´s true love...
What you do is gently pass it on to a special hidden place in your heart where it won´t hurt, save the good memories and free the space for a new love.
Luv ya friend!!!

brisky said...

Well let's not confuse Love with Pleasure, Love goes along with pleasure, but the inverse is not always true, so why not have some pleasure?? That doesn't mean he stopped loving that someone? Isn't that the same as havin someone by his side and loving someone?
As I said love comes from inside, and can't be erased with a moment of pleasure.
Like the old saying: "O amor é como uma chama: dura enquanto houver pau!". The stick can be from simple RAW pleasure up to Eternal love, but must be feed; small amounts, preferably, not too much, not that less.
Just the right amount, keeps love eternal, again remember the music: “one year of love, is better than a lifetime alone”.

Live the moment, and: If it hurts that’s because you’re not doing it right!

Phil said...

Hey! I'll be honest... I rushed through your text but I digged what I read. I'd even take a guess at one of the people who inspired you on it but we both know he's a male pig, temporary anti-female league chairman and unworthy of being further mentioned. He faces the dilemma of neglect, but he's probably a lost soul intoxicated by loves irreplaceability. Good job.