Sunday, June 19, 2005

Never Saying Never Again

Never Saying Never Again

My father has always warned me to: “never say never”. And whilst this seems to be quite an annoying quote to learn when you’re young; you realise as you grow older that it might be one of the most important philosophies to live by. After this weekend’s events, I decided that the whole concept of “never say never” is life’s way of proving you wrong!

A day at the beach had to be cancelled due to cloudy conditions and so the girls and I had to make alternative plans for the Saturday. Stocking up on all green and juicy things; the girls and I began our afternoon together making two salads whilst discussing important worldly affairs such as: our independence. We all came to the unanimously consensus that a cellphone and independence are things that a girl simply cannot abdicate from! Going into an in depth analyses we came to the conclusion that a woman can do anything a man can… and she’ll do it in high heels! This is the part where I tell my girls that I simply couldn’t see myself sharing my roof with anyone else and that I’d never need a man in my life.

Although I’m adamant about my convictions, I realise now that I made a huge mistake when I used the “n…..” word! Fate it seems… decided to prove me wrong!

Three hours, two movies, a couple of slices of tuna pizza and a few bowls of salad later, my miellie sisters and I, were so excited to rush out the door to go watch the fireworks display in town that is was only after I heard that click that I’d realised I’d made a huge mistake. Earlier when dumping out the garbage, I’d used my spare key and left it in the keyhole. Now that I was on the other side, my original key wouldn’t go through and in short: I locked myself out my own house!

Yeah! Sure… laugh! Like you haven’t locked yourself out before?!!

Breaking an umbrella, three women struggled with a wire and a keyhole ending in nothing more than a fruitless sweat. I had no choice but to swallow my pride and do what just that afternoon I swore I wouldn’t do, I picked up the phone stifled a sob and tried not to sound panicked as I wailed into the receiver:
“Please save me!!! I need you!!!”

Ten minutes later my uncle arrived with a toolbox and a smug smile on his face. I tried not to look so relieved as I watched him work. After a good while of struggling along with a little help from my neighbour, I realised that my whole anti-theft precautions were working against me!
My uncle is an expert at Do-It-Yourself, so it was when he told me that he couldn’t get it open that I really began to panic.
Never having to use the number before, I dialled 112 and tried to picture the fat laugh the operator would have with her colleagues once she’d sent someone to open my door.
I don’t think I’ve ever been so glad to see two men in uniform! Screw the whole shining armour prince on a white horse: try two gorgeous firemen in a fire truck! My aunt who’d heard about the bold statement I’d given to my girl friends earlier was giggling reminding me that I didn’t need one, not two… but four men! She doubled on the floor laughing when the firemen told us we had to wait for the police: the number increased to six!

Six men applied pressure to my door in order to side a film that was supposed to open it up. I suppose that if I’d been thinking clearly, I would’ve been more than amused at six muscular bodies trying to force their way into my life! If only they’d put as much effort into entering my heart, I’d die a happy woman! Alas, my front door is the exact replica of my beating heart and they couldn’t so much as get the film to pass through.
I was practically in tears when someone announced that the only way in would be to break the door down. Immediately I had the two cute policemen patting my back and messaging my shoulders telling me that no one was going to break anything down until the locksmith had a chance to look at it. One of the firemen ran back to his truck to find the locksmith’s number whilst the other tried cheering me up by telling me that I should then go out and buy another lock just like it! Realising that the only solution would be to drill, we resigned to leave it for the following morning and went outside in time to watch the fireworks display begin.

Six men and still my door wasn’t open… how many more men was I going to need??

Three men and a thick drill!!! For two hours straight these men drilled into my lock taking out each of the seven lock pins one by one. Frustration mounted as I realised that I was helpless to do anything and that my high heels weren’t going to help me in this situation. Almost resigning myself to the breaking down of my door, my aunt had the brilliant idea of trying out the firemen’s strategy on one of the windows and sure as hell… it opened! I had never been to happy to be in my own house again!!!

…As you might’ve noticed: without the woman, the men still wouldn’t have gotten the job done!!!

The moral of the story though is to not ever say “From this glass of water, I shall not drink”. For tomorrow you might have to gulp it down with thirst. You never know in life what or who you may need in future or in this case: in the present. As I lay my head back on my own pillow tonight, I’ll be more humble in my prayers. I’ll thank God that we listened to my aunt before breaking down the door and I’ll apologise for saying that I’ll never need a man. I still don’t think I need one, but I’ll never use the “never” word again. Because after all, I can’t say I don’t need a man when I do need one for: drilling keyholes, changing tyres, fixing cars, etc…

Yeap, I’ve learnt my lesson! If you use the word “never” you run the risk of life proving you wrong and therefore my friends I end this entry by reminding you all that I’ll never be a billionaire…. ;-P


lou (singer) said...

He he! Funny situation! Happened with me before. Actually I always thought that men are very handy on certain moments. It certainly happend with me before... twice! And one of those times I had my daughter inside! I went outside for a moment to talk on the mobile phone because it was too noisy inside, and loked myself outside. Luckily the fireman went in through a window.

Elvio said...

grrrrrrr, Your right about ''never say never''
Im gonna wait for the day when you prove me wrong... like in 500 years,
everyone needs men...
even me, and woman are not always in the picture... like you, men think the say way about not needing a woman,
and MOST of us dont... lolol as in my case....

How could you possibly live without a sweet man's touch, his manly smell, the touch of his skin on your body...
I could go on....

Anonymous said...

life teaches funny things, doesn't it? KKKK wanderer

Joe said...

hoezit -next time i bring some of my chinas - i mean cuzins -i mean brothers from south western township (Soweto if u didnt know that)LOL well anyways u know you can always count on me to break a door- specialty i gathered from working in a hotel. Anyway keep the passion