Friday, June 23, 2006

Go Ahead... Ask Me!

What do you ask a person when you want to get to know them? A good start is to begin with their name but then what? Do you ask them their age, their occupation, where they went to school and who their friends are?
What information do you need to know in order to conclude that you know a person?

A good friend once taught me that we only know what others are willing to show and share with us (Thanks Xcytex… four years later, it’s still good philosophy!)
And if you’re willing to agree with my friend and I; I once again ask you:
What must a person tell you so what you feel that you truly know them?

I read somewhere that there are no wrong answers… just wrong questions. If you haven’t found the answer you were looking for maybe it’s because you’re asking the wrong questions. Any journalist or detective will tell you that the quality in the information you obtain depends on how effective your questions are.

To ask the right questions… it’s an art only perfected with practice.

Ask not the questions that are answered by the mind, ask instead the questions directed at the soul. To do so is to discover the man behind his intellect.

How does it feel when you do something good?
What do you see when you close your eyes?
How do you like to be taught new things?
Where do you feel most at home?
Who inspires you… what inspires you?
Define freedom in your perspective?
When are you scared?
What is the craziest thing you ever done?
Where is your favourite place to fall asleep?
If you could choose, what would your superpower be?

What makes you tick?... it’s the question behind all the above.
Because we need to know…
To understand the person inside a body whose physical features can only mirror expression of emotions, but not define the reason behind it.
Because we seek to get closer…
To take in and be a part of…
To connect with another soul is to break the confinements of our own skins.

Two neihbours lived separated by a river and they would wave at each other from afar. They never knew each other’s names because neither ever bothered to get into a boat and row to the other side. To do so would to define them as friends.
When the one died, the other went to his funeral. He had always considered his neihbour anti-social. Beside the fact that he had never came to visit, he wouldn’t wave unless he was waved to. Only then did it occur to him that he had never attempted to visit his neihbour and that perhaps if he’d started crossing the river, his neihbour might’ve met him half way.

Which is your favourite song of all time?
Who do you call when you’re in trouble?
By which phrase do you live by?
What is the best smell on earth?
What can make a difference?
How well do I know you?
How well do you think you know me?

In November it will be five years in which I was hired for a job that wasn’t earned by my credentials, diplomas or experience (none of which I had). It wasn’t by what was written on my poorly translated CV nor had anyone put in a word for me. A few years later, I was shocked to find out that the very answer that I thought had screwed up my interview had in fact earned me the job. What was it?
After asking me for the third time if I thought I was cut out for the job, I answered that I hadn’t packed my bags, leaving everything I know and love and crossed an ocean to fail so if I wasn’t to be a success in his company, then I’d be a success in some other company.

This goes to prove that the answers you seek lie in the questions you ask… Be attentive to what you hear and what you don’t. The first step to wisdom is to be quiet, the second is to listen (Thanks for the contribute couz!)

Most importantly, in doubt or lack of understanding… don’t jump to conclusions:


Laura said...

Adorei...Frontal e absoluto como tu, minha priminha:)

Storm said...

When you give your highest praises to someone, what do you say to them when they write even better?
You have talent and you know it!
Heres a question for you:
Is South Africa the country for you?
I tell you what, ýou can answer me before you leave in October.
Think about this one though.

unresigned said...

Claro que só conhecemos o que os outros querem que assim aconteça. Faz parte do processo de aprendizagem sobre o outro e é uma das características que nos faz ser interessantes.

Depende muito das perguntas, mas depende muito, às vezes, de apenas observarmos e estarmos atentos aos sinais. Há quem diga mais com um olhar do que respondendo a mil perguntas. Interessante, não?

IceVsFire said...

...perguntas ,,,eskecest so d uma cena mundoi em k viviemos a maior parte das pessoas nao se conhece a si propia, a maior partte tb se procura se defender fabricando mascaras nunca mostrando akilo k axo k nao e a fazer perguntas k se conheces as pessoas..ate pk apenas perguntar a outra pessoa pode ver esse gesto cm evasivo cm um interrogatoria...conheces as pesssoas pelas suas accoes e pela importancia k das elas e vice versa...
Ja agora se perguntar e assim tao important pergunta me seja la o k for por emnail e eu terie todo o gosot em respndert!!

Anonymous said...

Eu não sei que chazinho andas a tomar a noite, mas esta a fazer-te muito bem...espalha a receita por todas essas almas que teimam em não sair do obvio..