I was asked today what this word meant to me and I stopped all other trains of thought to concentrate on the significance of it to me.
Is fidelity broken when one chooses to have intercourse with someone other than the person he’s committed with? In which case he’s innocent if he keeps it to a simple make-out session… Where does one draw the limit line of betrayal?
Every person I speak to draws their limits differently, who’s to say which perimeter is correct?
It’s hard playing a game where you don’t know where your boundaries are. I’m not referring to those set to you by your partner but to those that you set upon yourself.
When would you say have you overstepped the line?
In my opinion, fidelity goes hand in hand with sentiment. You don’t have to take your clothes off to be unfaithful. To me, betrayal happens when you surrender your heart to someone else other than the person you’re committed to. This doesn’t go to say that other people cannot occupy a space in your heart… those who live and love know all to well that there are those that touch our souls and engrave their names in our hearts forever.
However much you may love these individuals, to keep them in your heart is divine… to surrender your heart to one of them is to betray the person you’ve committed your soul to. It’s the same as taking the key to your house and making copies for every other person besides the significant other that you share your house with, or taking a piece of cake that you gave to one person and giving it to someone else.
At this point most (most as in male) jump up and vehemently state that in this case sex does not qualify as a form of betrayal considering that sex can just mean sex without any emotional strings attached.
I don’t argue this fact especially since it’s true for many… however, I still consider any form of sexual activity as infidelity.
To touch, to kiss… to have intercourse with another human being requires taking off your clothes and exposing yourself and your desires. To act upon these desires is to want to be with that person, to share and surrender a piece of your soul and in direct proportion… your heart.
Romantic idealism? Perhaps?...
However this above statement does not come from the books, the wise or opinion polls, it is the Sunshine outlook.
I am not a woman capable of being with a man without there being some kind of a connection. Without it there simply is no point… this isn’t to say that being in a committed and loving relationship I wouldn’t feel the desire for someone else… this is to say that I would not feel the need to act upon it or give my heart to anybody else.
To have sex without meaning is to betray myself, my beliefs and to highly disrespect the person I’m with considering they wouldn’t fully have my presence.
There are those that say that betrayal of sentiment only occurs in women considering that men do not think about the emotional links involved… however, the man I choose to commit to will have to be the kind that shares my point of view of fidelity choosing to love and respect me enough to only share his bed with me.
This of course does not rule out flirting or getting to know people who touch our souls… it simply means that while my thoughts can belong to every man, my body and soul will only belong to the one I choose to give my heart to.