Relight The Fire
Too often I hear the sound of requiem to one’s heart. Requiem is the music played to someone who had died, used at a Catholic mass for most funerals.
Why do people choose to kill the love and passion inside them when it is the very thing that feeds their souls?
At most weddings and bachelor parties I hear the whispers pronouncing the beginning of the end as if marriage will take away the fun and excitement from a relationship.
It usually doesn’t disappear, it goes by slowly, fading away the fire until mere embers remain. Then suddenly one day you wake up, take a look at that person lying next to you and wonder where the pleasure has gone.
Marriage is like a violin, after the sweet music has finished the strings are still attached.
People with experience have told me that after the passion dies, you see what a relationship is really made of. Only then can you discover the love. Not all passion leads to love and hence the divorce lawyers.
What they don’t usually confess though, is about their secret desires of strange men kidnapping and ravishing them, or how they’d like to grab that secretary with the short skirt from behind… While they smile and tell you that they love their children and worship their home and family, in the back of their minds they dream about being unfaithful or merely flirting with your spouse’s best friend.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that they love their family any less or that they’re willing to give up what they have for the possibility of realizing their desires… it means that the passion isn’t dead! That they’re not dead and below the mother, the employee and the spouse is a hot blooded human being that enjoys love, romance and passion at 80 as much as she or he did at 18!
We hide our desires under sheets of age, maturity and responsibility and feign boredom when someone brings up the subject of sex saying “My husband and I tried that once, but we don’t do those things anymore”… Why the hell not?!
When you look at your spouse watching sport or that soap opera, did it ever occur to you that in their subconscious they’re dreaming about the kind of stuff playboy earns so much money for? And why shouldn’t you be the one to give it to them if you yourself crave the same things? Don’t be surprised when someone who knows to provide those attentions removes either you or your spouse from your happy home…
One man said to me that only the second marriage is the happy one… you first have to stuff up in the first one so that you know what mistakes not to make in the second.
Why let the first marriage or relationship go down the toilet in the first place? If you love that person why not make the effort to work on those things you feel are lacking. And if what lacks is passion then I have news for you my friends: it takes two to tango and relighting that fire is as much as your responsibility as your companions!
When was the last time you gave him an expectant kiss on the neck or whispered those naughty nothings meant just for the two of you? When last did you make a grab for him, surprised him with a evening just for two or told him about your latest fantasies? When last did you climb in the shower with him? Explored his body or asked him to explore yours? When last did things begin with “I won’t stop until I have you begging?” and end with “That must’ve been the best yet”. A call in the middle of the afternoon saying “I’ve been thinking about you the whole day and I won’t rest until I found out which underwear you decided to wear today”. Or a snake-like hand on their thigh under the table at a family dinner whilst keeping your most straight face? Where’s the adventure? Where’s the heat? If it can burn in you, it can burn in your partner too.
I once loved a man whom I had no desire to touch but soon I realised that the love I felt was what people call friendship and I promised myself never to confuse the two again. From that day on, I decided that love and passion, the desire to be touched and taken to different heights, go hand in hand. If you can’t kill love, you can’t kill passion.
Love and passion one will desire the other until the end of time.
Bring them together and you shall have a blissful and meaningful relationship. Tear them apart and you to will be singing requiem to your own heart.